Sunday, February 28, 2010

Lives are for Losers

I was laughing hysterically at this youtube clip, so my dad asked me what I was watching. After showing him, he simply responded, "You need to get a life."
And I agree.
But I still freaking love this video.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

How to get really depressed

1. Go online.
2. Go to an online store that's slightly above your price level, but the sale section is do-able (try J.Crew, Revolve, Anthropologie, etc.).
3. Look through the sale section. Spy a cute, cheap skirt/shirt/dress.
4. Examine it further. Realize it's the only piece of clothing you ever want. Realize you cannot live without it.
5. Check what sizes it's available in.
6. Cry
7. Briefly wish you were a size large so you could buy it.
8. Get depressed.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

I heart you

Happy Valentines Day, my lovely readers! May your Sunday be filled to the brim with love, smiles, laughter...

and cupcakes. Especially cupcakes.

(Photo via Epicute)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Liz's New Boy Toy?

So last night's episode of 30 Rock, featuring all of Liz's exes, got me thinking: Who should guest star as Liz's new beau? She's got to get one sooner or later, right?
And then it hit me.
The perfect guy.
Age-appropriate (one year older than Tina).
Want to guess?
Hint: It has to do with one of my recent obsessions.
Any ideas?
Give up?
Ok, here it is:

Jason Bateman.
He's hilarious but can also play the straight man. His character can be very Floyd-esque (or they could just bring back Floyd for good... no complaints there).
Ooh! But his character has a secret: he's Devon Banks's brother! TWIST! And a chance to see Bateman and Arnett as brothers on screen... which all Arrested Development fans know creates a burst of comedic amazingness.

So get on it, 30 Rock writers!
Any other suggestions for Liz's new BF? Tell me in the comments!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

30 Rock 4.10 Recap

30 Rock, Season 4, Episode 10, Black Light Attack!
Tongue girth! Quidditch! Black lights! Gossip Girl! Such were the topics discussed on this odd, crazy, ridiculous Thursday half hour that is 30 Rock!

Realer than dying of old age at 41:
- I love how they're acknowledging that Danny's not really a real actor-- hence his characters, Robot Lorenzo Llamas, Robot Ryan Seacrest, and David Hassel-bot. Plus 4.
- I don't watch Seinfeld, but even I knew Lutz was wearing the Bro!
See? Plus 3.
- This is my 3rd time watching this episode, and I just now noticed that when Toofer is talking about Quidditch, Frank is drinking a... tub? of beer. This show gets better and better with each watch! Plus 2.
- "Skankovitch" just replaced "non-pillow" as my new favorite 30 Rock insult. Plus 2.
- For some reason, I love men imitating women in high voices (especially Shawn from Psych), so Jack's imitation of "the new girl" gets a plus 1.
- Another thing I totally missed the first time? Pete's "Oh, I love that show!" after Jenna mentions her audition for Gossip Girl. Oh, Pete. Plus 1.
- Jack's face as he realizes Danny's secret rendezvous it with Liz... plus 4.
- Tartine and Wainwright are two of the alleged Gossip Girl names. Just the right combination of weird and preppy! Plus 3.
- "What did he do to the back of your knees?" Plus 3.
- "I threw them in the deep end of the pool... to help with their fear of sharks."
1. What did Tracy do so as to incite a fear of sharks in not one but both of his children?
2. Does Tracy have sharks in his pool? I bet he does.
3. Plus 4.
- The callback to CHiP's Larry Wilcox (when Danny wears the uniform and wig), Liz's first crush. Perfect. Plus 5.
- Liz's happy whistling is... bad. Loud and not in tune. Which just makes it more hilarious. Plus 3.
- Don't know if that high-pitched/low-pitched youth/adult tone thing is legit, but either way, Jenna's reaction to it makes it worth the lie. Plus 1.
- "Well I had a porterhouse for two, alone, I am very angry and sleepy." Nice subtle joke in an otherwise crazy episode. Plus 1.
- "She has really thin lips but she makes up for it with tongue girth." The perfect combination of OMGLOL and Ew. Plus 5.
- Liz named her mustache Tom Selleck. Plus 4.
- Tracy thinking Liz is the "nice man" coming to take Sue is funny... but not at all funny enough to make up for the unfunny Tracy/Sue plot this week. Still, plus 1.
- Jack and Liz's fake love story line has been done before (at the ball to make Bianca jealous, in Jack's office to make Kathy Geiss jealous), but I love it every time (not because I'm a Lack shipper. Ew). Plus 6.
- Gossip Girl would SO make someone die of old age at 41. Because after that they get, like, boring, you know? Plus 4.
- P.S. Did anyone else notice that Jenna's character's deathbed is a living room couch? I could totally see a lame TV show doing that, just so they don't have to build another set for the bedroom. Plus 2.
- Oh, Tina Fey. You will embarrass yourself by dancing like a nerd and letting thousands of people watch it, and that is one of the many reasons I love you. Plus 2.
Total: 61

Faker than Jack's attraction to Liz:
- To answer your question, Toofer: Because if they didn't, it would just be a two-person game, and that's no fun. Or else there would be over a dozen people smacking into each other, trying to grab the Snitch. Duh. Minus 1.
- Ok... is it just me or does that neon yellow drink in Liz's cup look... gooey... like a smoothie mixed with highlighter ink. Ew. Minus 2.
- Is it weird that I kinda like the idea of Danny and Jenna together? Denna? Janny? Either way, it's better than Diz... or Lanny (more on that later). Minus 3.
- Danny came onto Liz?! No.... just no. Although the other way sounds almost equally weird. Minus 5.
- The "Madonna"-face Liz makes... kinda weak. Try harder at pretending to creepily cling to youth. Minus 2.
- Everything about the Lanny/Diz fling just... doesn't work. Why would Danny go after Liz? Is Liz really attracted to Danny? It just doesn't work for me at all-- even for a fling! Minus 20.
- Wait a second... a power struggle over a guy Liz is "dating" and Jack is friends with? It's Floyd all over again! Minus 3, because in most comparisons between Danny and Floyd, Floyd would win.
- "Scrumpnugget"? WTF? Not funny, just... stupid. Minus 2.
- The whole entourage= family, Tracy= father, Sue= teenage daughter thing is way overdone. Minus 14.
- Just realized that the description for this episode on Hulu says: "Danny reveals to Jack he's having secret make-out sessions with a TGS writer." I know we discover pretty early that it's LL, but if you're watching this episode for the first time, you assume it's a girl (because I don't think 30 Rock would commit to the gay thing, especially for such a main character), and the only girl writers are Liz and Sue. And if you've heard or seen anything about the episode, you know that Sue already has a plot line. So, secret's out. Minus 4.
Total: 56

So despite some major plot line no-no's, 30 Rock prevailed yet again this week, thanks to their always abundant stash of one-liners.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Me Gustan Mucho

Si, I speak EspaƱol. Try to contain your awe.
I only bring out the spanish when something gets me really happy. Wanna know what it is?

Never before have I been so excited about... tables. I mean, just look at these simple stream-lined beauties!

Talk about your OOMPH! Now I just need to rob a bank and drive on over to my closest retailer, and I'll be all set!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

30 Rock 4.09 Recap

It's been awhile... I've been lazy... but it's all worth it, because here comes a nice juicy recap of a hilarious episode! (And 3 more to come after this one!)

30 Rock, Season 4, episode 9, "Klaus and Greta"
Jenna "dates" James Franco. Jack leaves a drunk voicemail. Liz outs her cousin. Happy 30 Rock New Year, everyone!

Realer than Liz leaving Cerie drunken messages:
- "Does chewing on a sponge trick your brain's hunger center? Yes!" You learn something new every day. Plus 3
- "Make sure his manager doesn't screw her."
"Too late! Oh wait, which way did you mean that?" I love you, Jenna. Plus 2.
- The protests to the switch-screen after TJ says he thinks he got Angie pregnant... perfection. Plus 5.
- Liz is "a frequent leaver of drunk messages" Plus 4 for the callback to "Episode 210" and her night of drunken co-op board calls.
- "I've lemoned this situation with Nancy!" Yay, new 30 Rock word!
Lemon (v.): to mess up irrevocably. Plus 5.
- James Franco kinda weirds me out. At first this was going to be a minus, but I realized he's supposed to weird me out. So plus 2.
- Liz's cousin is hot. Plus 4, because we ladies (ok, we teens. I guess he's kind of young for most viewers) haven't had such eye candy on 30 Rock since Jon Hamm left.
- "Nope, that's a serial killer, just get a cab." Living in NY allows people to say that so matter-of-fact-ly. Plus 1.
- Jonathan vs. Kenneth. I sense some very comedic potential in this possible rivalry. Plus 2.
- Kenneth vs. Computer. An even more epic rivalry. Plus 4.
- Poor Jenna. She is just a walking tragedy, isn't she? No points, just pity.
- Liz has a cardigan with "fuzzy buttons" that she's "afraid to wear." Which makes sense because I'm afraid to see it. BOOM! Roasted. Plus 2.
- "Sir, I don't mean to swear, but I am irritated right now." Kenneth, I love you. Plus 3.
- I'm not a fan of Nancy, but I am a fan of how lovesick Jack is. So sweet! Plus 6.
- Someone needs to make some more official rules for the "Today Show Drinking Game." It sounds fun! Plus 4.
- I swear to God, right before Liz asked Jenna "Why are you wearing a man's shirt and no pants?" I thought, "Why is Jenna wearing a Liz-like shirt?" She does wear a lot of plaid... plus 2.
- Kenneth is seen drinking a juice box. Plus 1.
- The code spells Klaus!! Did not see that one coming. Seriously, good twist! Plus 3.
- "You should buy a leather jacket!" The enthusiasm with which Kenneth says this sentence is overwhelming and perfectly Kenneth. Plus 2.
- "You're being such a non-pillow right now!" = my new favorite insult. Plus 3.
- When Jack's on the call, Kenneth takes Cerie's hand, a la the same way he did with Jonathan earlier on. Cerie doesn't take her hand away right away! Is anyone else a Cenneth/Kerie shipper? They'd be so cute together... plus 3.
- Oh Liz Lemon. You never fail to amaze me with your ridiculousness. Question: Is having a three-way with a celebrity and a pillow an all-time low or all-time high? Either way, plus 5.
Total: 66

Faker than Jenna and James's relationship:
- That Blossom reference went right over my head so minus 1.
- On New Years Jonathan met his birth parents... I kind of want to feel bad because Jack doesn't care about poor Jonathan... but I don't really care either. Minus 2.
- Kumiko reminds me of my Wii nemesis, Fumiko. Have you ever played tennis against her? That Mii is a b*tch. Minus 1.
- Liz's hot cousin only served to remind me that all hot guys are gay... minus 3.
- Did Kenneth really step through that coat hanger? That must've been fake... right? Minus 2.
- "And it gets even better. I just had a burrito." Surprisingly, I didn't find this random TJ quip funny. It wasn't ridiculous enough. Minus 2.
- "Having ice-cold diarrhea from drinking Jamba Juice..." Ew. Just... ew. And how? Minus 4.
- Super-religious Kenneth has seen or read The Da Vinci Code? Minus 6.
- I understand that Liz is protective of her cousin, but why is she trying to bore him to death with "making nachos and seeing who can fall asleep the earliest?" Minus 5.
- Of course I looked up to see if Kenneth was right when he said typing in "Nancy's Secrets" into Google gives you "a store that sells wig extensions." He wasn't. These guys noticed also. Minus 6.
- Kenneth deleted the message. He has a backbone? Minus 1.
- Tracy's odd "Is every woman someone's daughter?"realization just didn't work for me. Minus 3.
- Liz's mom-esque speech to Randy reminds me... what happened to the whole adoption plot line? That was dropped like Ugly Betty. (That's both a dig at UB's plot holes and it's recent cancellation. Which I'm sad about, but I couldn't resist the joke.) Minus 5.
Total: 41

This was, no contest, a very real, very funny episode of 30 Rock. The next recap should be up in a day or two!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It's back!

My day just got about 10%* better. Wanna know why?

Yes, rejoice fellow cute-baby-animal lovers, we can once more soak in the cuteness of Shiba Inu puppies... live! They're so little and fat right now.

*Normally it would be more, but I'm especially hard to please today. What is the point of english essays?!