Television is like food-- in many, many ways. But the analogy of the day (or AOTD, if you will) is this:
Television programs are like food-- you watch/eat the best/yummiest when you have a wide variety of options, but when you're bored/starving and all you can find is junk, you take what you can get.
So how does this relate to my day today? Well, dear readers, all of my TV shows are over. Re-runs just aren't doing it for me right now. So, I noshed on some junk TV.
Enter The Secret Life of the American Teenager.
I had given up this show (much like I gave up Gossip Girl) early last season. Those one-hour dramedies are just too much work for their small entertainment value. And while TSLOTAT (I used this abbreviation while emailing my cousin, and for some reason it irked her. But she doesn't read my blog, and I find it convenient. So take that, cousin!) probably falls under the "So Bad it's Good" category, sometimes it's "So Bad it's-- Actually, No, it's Just Really, Really Bad."
But, frankly, I had seen some clips of it on The Soup recently, and I started to kinda miss those sex-obsessed nut jobs. I missed creepily-devoted Ben, faux-bad-boy Ricky, whiny-biatch Amy, why-does-Jack-even-like-her Madison, why-does-Madison-even-like-him Jack, wow-you-look-like-Ashley-Tisdale-but-you-still-are-boring-as-hell Grace, OMG-you-make-my-mom-look-sane-you-are-so-nosy parents, and frustratingly-emotionless Amy's Sister (who is so void of emotion that I don't even remember her name, despite having watched an episode a mere 3 hours ago). I missed the conversations that went thusly:
Ben: I want to have sex with you.
Amy: I had sex, and I got pregnant. No.
Ben: Ok, fine.
Amy: Does that mean you're going to go off and have sex with other girls?
Ben: Well if you won't have sex with me, what else am I supposed to do?
Amy: You could not have sex.
Ben: Sex sex sex sex sex sex pregnant sex birth control sex sex!
Amy: Sex sex friends sex sex sex school sex sex WHINE sex sex I'M A TEENAGE MOTHER GODDAMIT sex!
Amy's Dad: Sex?
Ben: Sex, Amy's Dad. Sex sex sex love sex sex sex condoms sex sex oral sex sex sex.
John, Amy's 1-year-old son: Sex!
So I head on over to Wikipedia's episode list to get a brief synopsis of what's up in that little town where no one learns anything at school and parents act like teenagers. Apparently, a lot. I watched some of the last episodes of the last season, and the first two episodes of this new season, and now I'm caught up.
I feel like I sold out. I'm sorry, 30 Rock. I've lowered my standards so dramatically since you left me.