Musings of a Random Nobody

Hiatus

2011-03-21T11:46:00.003-04:00

As much as it pains me, I'd hate for this blog to die a slow, painful death as it is now, with me updating once every few weeks. Instead, I will leave this blog up for you to enjoy and I may be back with a vengeance in the summer, but for now I'm going on hiatus. I know, don't you hate when bloggers do this? I do. But hopefully I won't upset my 3 followers too much. You'll just have to survive without my biting wit and hilarious insights for a few months, maybe more. College is tough (ugh, lame excuse, I know) and I've been having major writer's block. So farewell for now!
So sorry you guys!
-RN

A Day in the Life of a Band of Outsiders Model: James Marsden

2011-02-17T12:00:00.008-05:00

WARNING: This post you are about to read contains over a dozen pictures of hottie James Marsden in silly situations wearing gorgeous clothing. Your computer's fan may have to work overtime to prevent overheating from the hotness of these images. You have been warned.

I never thought it was possible to love a men's clothing blog so much. But Band of Outsiders outfits many wonderful men in awesomely creative photo shoots. The shoots just look so... realistic! If you ever wondered what a celebrity like James Marsden, Andrew Garfield, or Donald Glover does in their spare time, now you know. Let's go through some of the highlights, shall we?

First up, the gorgeous and talented James Marsden.

James likes to start his day by playing with action figures-- no, wait, Pez dispensers-- in his underwear.
The Pez people have forgiven each other, and James is officiating their wedding.
Then it's time to fetch the paper! James lives in a building called "The Gaylord" (on the ground in barely discernible letters).
James then puts on his "I'm a serious actor" glasses and reads the newspaper in a foreign language. James doesn't speak the language, but he enjoys the pictures.
James works on his new business idea; he'll be a paparazzo... of himself! Such a simple money-maker for actors, James doesn't understand why other famous people let the paparazzi earn pictures they could take themselves!
Looking for some inspiration, James takes a trip to the roof. He keeps looking over his shoulder, however, as the security guard has been catching onto his habit.
Now it's the daily pool skimmer fight with the security guy at the pool! If he wins, he gets to swim. If his ninja-like jumping skills don't pay off and he loses, well then...
... then it's time to drink the sorrow away! If the drinking doesn't help his anger at being denied a swim, James will smash some old, valuable records. Because he's a movie star and he can.

To come later: A Day in the Life of Band of Outsiders models Andrew Garfield, Donald Glover, Dave Franco, and Leslie Mann.

(all photos courtesy of Band of Outsider's blog-- check them out! They have pictures of hot guys wearing nice clothing. What else could you ask for?)

Madeline Weinrib

2011-02-12T12:03:00.005-05:00

What do you guys think of my new header? I'm finally satisfied, after a few failed attempts. I think I'll be keeping this one for a while. To celebrate, let's talk about some pretty things!

Madeline Weinrib is amazing. Her rugs, her pillows, her fabric-- everything. Especially her rugs. Right next to my goal of learning how to walk in heels is my goal of owning a gorgeous Madeline Weinrib rug. Both, I predict, will be difficult to complete, as the former requires a sense of balance I don't have, and the latter, a lot of money, which I also don't have. But for now I can visit her website and imagine walking around in 4-inch heels on her divine rugs in my New York loft/Greenwich mansion/LA beach house. Hey, a woman can dream!

This will go in the ultra-swanky living room, paired with rich jewel-tones like emerald and magenta.

This will go in my living room when we revamp it for summer (yes, we will redecorate for every season).

This will go in my sun room, surrounded by... sun. I don't know, I just love this rug.

This will go in my daughter's room, which will be pink but sophisticated, with clean lines and bright patterns. And a bed with a canopy, because I always wanted one of those.

This is probably my absolute favorite. It will go in my walk-in closet, which will be girlie and spacious with lots of white and glass and sunlight.

What pieces are you lusting after? Where will you put them in your future home? (Note: The more grandiose the plans, the better. Go ahead, give yourself a pet tiger.)

(all pics from Madeline Weinrib's website)

A Letter to Campbell's Soup

2011-02-01T21:43:00.003-05:00

Dear person who does the advertising for Campbell's soup company,

If you wouldn't mind answering this (not that you get so much mail you won't have time for this-- you're not a celebrity, hate to break it to ya), I'd love to know what possessed you to put out not one, not two, but THREE full-page advertisements in the February 7, 2011 issue of People magazine. Yes, I know, one was for "Healthy Request" soup (which is a lame name, by the way, but I suppose you aren't in charge of that), the other was for "Select Harvest Light," and the last for "Spaghetti-O's." Obviously you are trying to reach the broke-couple, fat-single-lady, and mom-with-no-time-to-feed-her-children-uncanned-food demographics all in one magazine. Kudos for the ambition. But to me, a college student who falls under non of those categories, it just seems like you're trying to hard. It's pathetic. Get your act together.
By tripling the ad space, you do not triple my desire to buy your soup (or Spaghetti-O's, which would be canned pasta I suppose? How the heck do you categorize Spaghetti-O's (other than under "nostalgic" and "yummy"?) And if you were to be required to use three ad pages, maybe make the first two remotely different. What the heck is the difference between "Healthy Request" and "Select Harvest Light"? Apparently, Healthy Request is low cholesterol, has 0 grams of fat, a healthy level of sodium, and 25 varieties, while Select Harvest Light has 80 calories or less, is 100% natural and deliciously satisfying. And it looks disgusting. In an ADVERTISEMENT. Which is not a good sign that it'll look appetizing in real life.
Why do you have two different health-conscious brands? It's confusing. It's bad advertising.
In conclusion, Campell's Soup Co., you may want to go a different direction with your advertising techniques (I'm available for consultation. But no, I will not be paid in soup). But, most of all, thank you for allowing me the chance to rant on the internet instead of starting my paper. Thank you.
Your critic,
A Random Nobody

3 Websites I Love Right Now

2011-01-25T14:07:00.006-05:00

1. Netflix.com

My one and only (legal and fail-safe) source for old SNL episodes. I'm loving the Maya Rudolph/Tina Fey/Amy Poehler/Jimmy Fallon era. My favorite sketches include Two A-Holes, The Needlers, and Weekend Update.

2. ASOS.com

Bravo, ASOS, bravo. You've successfully ruptured my heart with longing for this gorgeous dress (Plus it's in 2 of my favorite dress colors-- cream and navy!). Bravo.

3. WhenParentsText.com
The texts sometimes make me wish my parents were as cool as the ones posted; sometimes, they make me glad my parents are relatively normal. Every time, they amuse me to no end.

What are your favorite sites-du-jour?

Watch this video NOW

2011-01-22T00:05:00.002-05:00

Video non-embeddable. Boo. Watch here.
And, just like that, I have a new celebrity crush. And I believe you do as well now.

How could you not?
He's British.
And hot.
And he knows his internet memes.
What's not to love?
(It's Andrew Garfield, btw, from The Social Network and the new Spiderman movie)

"It looks like something a death row convict would make in art therapy."

2011-01-18T14:59:00.003-05:00

Question: Your afternoon class in canceled. What do you do?

Answer: Do five minutes of homework so you feel accomplished, then watch Parks and Recreations season 2 on Netflix and play Text Twist.

Thank you, Professor-whose-name-I-don't-know-because-we've-only-had-one-class.

I want...

2011-01-12T17:57:00.003-05:00

- more vacation time
- my nail polish to be unchippable... it only lasted for 3 or so days this time...
- new 30 Rock/Community/Parks and Rec
- a tiger

(cute tiger pic from here)

Change is in the air!

2011-01-07T21:50:00.001-05:00

New year, new layout, new color scheme.
You like?

My Psych season 5 finale review

2010-12-23T16:48:00.003-05:00

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE OF PSYCH. WATCH, THEN READ.

Am I the only one who thought Psych's season finale was disappointing? I went into it with high hopes, because the other two parts of the Yin-Yang trilogy were very creepy/awesome, and yet this one just fell very flat for me. Here's my thoughts on the episode:

- I was totally unimpressed by the reveal of Shawn's previous tie to Yang. Why wouldn't Shawn, the man with the infallible memory, not remember an especially odd encounter like his with Yang? And what was the deal about that shirt he wore? Was there a reason Henry didn't remember it? They made that out to be such a big deal, but in the end, he just forgot about that shirt? Surely Shawn didn't wear it only once.
- I'll admit, when Yang mentioned her and Shawn's "romantic history," I totally thought she raped him or something, and he didn't remember because it was traumatizing and he tried to forget. Please tell me someone else thought this and I'm not totally insane. I guess rape is too much for a comedy, though, especially when Shawn would be strapped with that emotional baggage for the rest of the series' run.
- Granted, she's the daughter of a serial killer, so she's allowed to be completely nutso, but was it ever explained why the heck Yang developed this weird obsession with Shawn and his family?
- The whole Yin/Yang father/daughter reveal was a little blah for me. I already thought they were married or something, so when she said "daddy," I was just like "Oh. That makes more sense I guess." But, if the reveal was done right, I should've been like "OMGWTF?!? AHH MY BRAIN JUST DIED!"
- There was no real sense of danger. They weren't going to kill Gus, so when Yin is ready to needle him, I thought he would inject it and it would turn out to be a placebo or something. I'm kind of sad this wasn't the case because it would've been kind of hilarious to see Gus in a situation where he should be dying but isn't. I can just imagine the subsequent banter...
- There were so few clues! The one in Shawn's bedroom, the bag of videos in the field, and the letter in the mailbox, which wasn't really a clue at all. I loved seeing Shawn solve those weird clues in the first part of the trilogy.
- I did like how Henry slipped up when describing Shawn's psychicness in front of everyone-- called it his "abilities" and then switched to "sense" or something, if I remember correctly. It was bound to happen some time.
- I LOVED seeing Mary (that was his name, right?) again! He wore a unitard. He was hilarious. I miss him. It made me miss the previous trilogy episodes.
- Shawn's mom (What's her name?? Aahhh I forget) was totally useless in this episode. All she did was reveal that she took a picture of Shawn and Yang, but other than that, why was she there? I would almost rather a neighbor had taken the photo, because it is kind of weird that she took the photo of them together but did not even vaguely remember her face or voice-- doesn't she have like perfect auditory memory or something? Wasn't that established? I'm sure she heard Yang when Yang captured her-- why didn't she remember then?
- I kind of wish Yin was someone we had met before, or at least someone closer emotionally to Shawn. Introducing a new character as the big bad villain of the entire trilogy just didn't give it any emotional gravity. It was just another crazy bad guy. He should've had some relation to someone other than Yang.
- I LOVE YANG. There, I said it. She's kind of hilarious and oddly sweet. And crazy, of course. I want more of her. I want her to start working with Shawn and Gus. They need a girl to make a round, classic protagonist/BFF/girl trio. But this time, the girl would not be a romantic interest for the BFF (see: Harry Potter) or the protagonist (see: Lizzie MacGuire with a gender reversal)

What did you think of the finale? Care to agree with me or present a counter-argument?

A Holiday Treat

2010-12-21T22:54:00.002-05:00

Blogger's block... I haz it. To apologize for my lack of posts, enjoy some Schweddy Balls:

Soulmates

2010-12-07T18:28:00.003-05:00

After watching The Royal Tenenbaums for the first time, I noticed something...

Chas Tenenbaum and Sue Sylvester are soulmates... well, at least their tracksuits are. And do formal occasions get in the way of their tracksuit wearing? OF COURSE NOT.

Here's Chas, modeling the funereal black tracksuit:

And Sue, donning the tracksuit wedding dress-- perfect for marrying yourself!

To sum up...
Awesome people wear tracksuits. All. the. time.

(pictures here, here, here, and here)

Caption this!

2010-11-29T14:25:00.004-05:00

So this screencap of Will watching the Warblers' performance at Regionals (or is it Sectionals? I DON'T REMEMBER, so sue me. Don't Sue me though. EDIT: Just checked. It's Sectionals. I'll hand over my Gleek badge now.) is incredibly amusing to me for whatever reason. And it's just dying for a caption. Have a look and give it a go:

Why does Will look so transfixed/disturbed/possessed? Any ideas? Tell me!

(screencap from this SPOILERY video of tomorrow's episode)

The Pillow Returns

2010-11-23T14:00:00.003-05:00

There is something wrong with my brain. It is too detail-oriented. Every time I rewatch a TV show, I notice little funny props, probably meant to be seen by no one, like this and this and this.

And now Glee has been subjected to my intense gaze.

Remember in the pilot when Sandy Ryerson, former Glee coach, is in Sheets n Things? Here he is to refresh your memory:

"Oh god, don't you love a good monkey?"

In episode four, Preggers, Sue visits Sandy at home, and guess what we see?

Over to the right... let's zoom in:

Sandy totally went back to get that pillow after Will left. Hilarious!

Notice any background gags lately?

Deathly Hallows WOW

2010-11-20T11:13:00.007-05:00

So I, like the rest of the world, went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. And I just have to do a huge thought dump on you, because I just need to write them down. Enjoy:

- I wish the Dursley's got a better goodbye. Frankly, they could've taken away that pointless scene of Ron standing outside the burrow and added some kind of book-like goodbye.

- Bellatrix is kind of freaking awesome. She's just totally insane and it rocks.

- The 7 Potters scene was awesome, though the introductions were kind of awkward. "Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a Weasley, but you should be able to tell that because I have red hair. See these scars on my face? Greyback did that. Who's Greyback? Ah, never mind."

- And WTF Moody? Cutting Tonks off mid-announcement? I don't know how they're going to finagle this because **SPOILER FOR PART 2** they've cast a 19-years-later Teddy, so we know he has to exist. But basically the scene where the next movie should open is the scene when Lupin announces his birth. I can see it now...

(Knock on door)

BILL: Oh gosh, who could it be?

(Opens door, LUPIN comes in)

LUPIN: Tonks had the baby!!

EVERYONE: WTF?

HARRY: Tonks was pregnant?

LUPIN: Oh yea, did I forget to tell you guys? We were going to tell you at Privet drive, but Moody interrupted us.

HERMIONE: What about at the Burrow?

LUPIN: Well, Moody was dead, so that didn't quite seem the right time. Then the wedding, and we didn't want to steal Bill and Fleur's thunder.

BILL: Oh, I guess that makes sense.

LUPIN: Yep. Well, it's a boy. We've named him Ted, after Dora's father.

HARRY: Never met him.

LUPIN: You didn't? You were supposed to go there after Privet drive but... change of plans, I guess. He was killed.

FLEUR: Oh. sorry.

LUPIN: It's okay. Hey Harry, wanna be godfather?

HARRY: Uh, sure, I guess. Just don't die, okay? (laughs)

LUPIN: Haha, I'll try not to!

AND SCENE *bows*

- The wedding scene was so short! I could've used waaay more of it.

- And is it just me or does Lupin have a habit of grabbing Harry or yelling at him to stop? Think about it... Order of the Phoenix, after Sirius dies (no yelling this time); Half Blood Prince, at the Burrow (Pretty sure he says "Harry, don't!"); and now after 7 Potters with the grindylow question, and also at the wedding. Lupin, no need to worry about the boy that LIVED. Better off worrying about yourself, because, well...

- True story: I teared up at Hedwig and Dobby's deaths, while when reading them I didn't. Especially Hedwig's-- I knew what was coming but OMG NO it was so sad.

- I'm interested to see some deleted scenes from this movie. I saw a behind the scenes clip of when they are in the Burrow surrounding George and Harry talks about trusting everyone in the room or something, but it wasn't in the movie.

- Every time Harry let the snitch out and then grabbed it to put away (happened maybe 3 or 4 times), some dude yelled out "GRYFFINDOR WINS!" The only significant heckle in the movie, which surprised me, seeing as I saw it at midnight with a bunch of drunk college students.

- The audience cheered when Dobby came on screen. I didn't know he was popular-- probably just in preparation for what's to come.

- The ministry scene was my favorite, by far. Ron getting into his role as Cattermole ("this'll be something to tell the kids!") and Harry's counterpart just being so... awkward, in a hilarious way.

- Oh, Harry. Hermione mentions that they should've polyjuiced themselves for Godric's Hollow and Harry's all "No. This is where I was born." Oh Harry, you're so logical. I forgot that when you visit your birthplace, you're automatically protected from harm and recognition. HARRY U SO STUPID.

- I hate the Bathilda scene in the books, and same with the movie. Not because it was poorly done, but because it's so friggin CREEPY and scary! There were a lot of nervous/anticipatory groans as Bathilda came on screen. I just kept watching through my fingers, waiting for her to turn into Nagini, and thankfully when she did, it wasn't as gruesome as the books. But WHY oh WHY did Hermione and Harry wait for a good 3 seconds in complete silence and stillness before Nagini attacked them a second time (and gave me a heart attack). It was like "I dunno, let's wait to apparate till we see the snake again. I wanna say goodbye." WTF?

- The audience (including me) laughed when Ron was explaining how the deluminator brought him back... this scene isn't supposed to be funny!

- Emma Waston rocked the torture scene.

- Why the heck were Hermione and Ron just standing there watching while Dobby died in Harry's arms? Harry was totally like "WTF you guys, get some dittany or something, we're WIZARDS for christ's sake!"

- Speaking of Dobby, I couldn't hear what he said as he was dying (probably too many people wailing preemptively), but I don't think I liked it. Wish they would've stuck with him just saying "Harry... Potter..." and dying.

- Again speaking of Dobby, where was his gravestone?? I really think they should have shown "Here lies Dobby, a free elf." It was so poignant in the books.

- I totally wanted someone to shout "KISS!" as Voldy faced Dumbledore. That's the one time in the movie I wish there was an annoying heckler!

- It was only after seeing the movie that I realized that 90% of the dialogue in the movie does not come from the books. And you know what? I don't really mind. I mean, it's weird to think about, but the point is if I didn't even notice that when I was watching the movie, then that's a good sign.

Overall, awesome movie, loved it (couldn't you tell?) and I can't wait for July!

What did you guys think of the movie? Likes? Dislikes? WTFs? Tell me!

(image from here)

Weekend Update secret-- revealed!

2010-11-14T15:40:00.008-05:00

You know how you see everyone on Weekend Update only from the waist-up? Well, Jason Sudeikis (as George W Bush) is business on the top, casual on the bottom:

Unless George W really has embraced casual friday (or saturday, in this case) and decided the new look was coat and tie and exercise shorts... It makes a lot of sense here though-- especially if he has a quick change after his appearance-- but it's funny nonetheless and confirms those "Do news reporters really wear pants?" suspicions. Has anyone else noticed this on SNL before?

I wonder if Seth Meyers and all Weekend Update guests do this-- heck, I wonder if Brian Williams and Ann Curry do it!

(image via hulu.com)

Why I wish this were a picture from my life

2010-11-13T14:18:00.004-05:00

(This is the Tory Burch family chariot electric tricycle, from the Neiman Marcus gift guide thingy. Never has a tricycle been so lust-worthy)

1. I would have friggin adorable doggies-- dressed up with what looks like friggin adorable colorful collars

2. I don't know where I'm going with flowers, a baguette, and a bottle of something fancy looking, but clearly I'm going there in STYLE.

3. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the amazing gorgeosity of this bike? The royal/baby blue color combo is to die for (notice how the pedals and handles are baby blue as well-- details!!), as is the tie-dye-meets-ikat pattern. LOVE.

4. I'm clearly somewhere beautiful and sunny, with lush greenery, flowers, cobblestones, and a very pretty old-fashioned street lamp. I'm imagining Central Park, what about you?

5. I'm able to spend $4,500 on a totally not practical bicycle, so I'm obviously rich with very good taste. So my life rocks.

Conclusion: I want those dogs. I want that bike. I want to be in a park that looks like that. I want to lounge on the seat with my doggies while my boyfriend-- Zac Efron? Darren Criss? Penn Badgley?-- drives me around.

I WANT TO GO TO THERE.

(image here)

2010-11-09T22:44:00.005-05:00

Dear self,

Oh, sweetie. When will you ever learn? We've been through this already. Twice.

You're a smart girl, but you have to stop deluding yourself into thinking you can wear three-inch heels outside, having only worn them around the store and your room before.

I know, the boots are gorgeous and you want to show them off. But when you waddle around like a constipated penguin because you're so wobbly than you have to take super tiny steps, people will be looking at you, not the shoes. And you will not look good.

I know you need to wear them out to wear them in-- I get it. But take it slow, hun. Don't prance out in public with your three-inch heels just yet. You look like a drunk Bambi on stilts. It's not a pretty sight.

But you will get there, I promise. One day, you will strut around NYC in your 4-inch stilettos-- I promise.

But right now? Stick to flats.

Love,

Yourself

HALP for Halloween

2010-10-28T19:43:00.003-04:00

I need halp. I need inspiration.

HALLOWEEN IS COMING UP AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BE!

Anyone else having this problem?

I want to be creative with the clothes and stuff I already have, but you can only get so creative with jeans and sweaters...

So I've thought of some options that may not be right for me, but maybe they'll inspire you, my lovely readers! And then, you can take your inspiration and use it to come up with a fabulous idea for me! See how this works? I iz so smart.

Options I've thought of:

1. Hermione: Grey cardi/sweater+White button up+Pleated mini skirt+ Grey knee-high socks+black ballet flats+two pencils taped together for a wand+Hogwarts crest printed out and taped/pinned to cardi+ Frizzy hair (one of the only downsides of this outfit-- maybe I could get away with movie-Hermione hair, AKA not as frizzy)

Why not? Too dorky for college? I just know I'll look out of place next to a bunch of girls dressed as strippers (OK, maybe they're not dressed as them, but they look like them!)

2. '20s Girl: '20s style dress (which I just happen to have, $5, never worn, from F21)+Pearls+Red lipstick+Black tights+Black heels+up do

Why not? I WILL FREEZE TO DEATH BECAUSE IT IS A SPAGHETTI STRAP DRESS. I have the perfect jacket to go with it, but it's at home and 5 sizes too big...

3. Black Cat (Cat Woman?): Black leggings (or Black tights+black shorts)+Black shirt+Kitty ears

Why not? YAWN.

4. Blair Waldorf, Season 1: White button up+Navy skirt+navy knee-highs+ballet flats+Headband

Why not? Not sure if people would get it, especially since it's from season one (the Constance uniform)

(pics from here, here, here, and here)

Did you know...

2010-10-24T17:25:00.004-04:00

(you probably didn't, because it's useless, but I'll tell you anyway)..

... that SNL's intro announces the cast in alphabetical order?

Yep. By last name. Just realized it.

So there's your new bit of knowledge for today. You can stop looking for something new to learn now. Your quota has been filled. Your welcome.

Another background tidbit

2010-10-15T08:11:00.003-04:00

So I'm watching the west coast version of the 30 Rock live episode... they are nailing it! But I noticed this background tidbit I had to share with you guys, mostly because I don't know why it's there...

In this scene, when Jack is sniffing paint:

See something on a paint can near the center of the screen? Let's zoom in...

Why is "Glee" written on a paint can? Any theories? It's not like its Glee's paint, because they're on different networks. At first I thought it was a jab at Glee because the label underneath said "Gross paints," but it definitely says "Gloss."

Any theories?

Just FYI

2010-10-03T12:08:00.006-04:00

Ah, the powers of hulu. While I was watching this week's Community for the second time (yes, it was that good), I decided to freeze frame on Alan's email:

A little closer, shall we?

Jeff's middle name is Tobias. So there's a random little tidbit of knowledge for you. You learn something new (and useless) every day!

(I apologize for the crappy pictures. They're screencaps from hulu, and I couldn't get that stupid play button to go away)

Don't you hate it when...

2010-09-26T16:19:00.003-04:00

Don't you hate it when you're having an amazing hair day, but you have nowhere to go and show it off? That's my predicament right now. I even have a pretty cute outfit going on. Why can't my looking good days ever coincide with my seeing lots of boys days? This lady looks like she shares my woes:

Sigh. Oh, how difficult my life is sometimes.

(pic via design crush via nappkin)

Why I'm happy today

2010-09-20T11:37:00.002-04:00

Actually, why I've been happy every day for the past week or so...

Something very pretty (and very discounted) came in the mail...

So yea, life is good :)

AWESOME

2010-09-14T08:41:00.003-04:00

Combining two of my favorite things: IKEA and cats.

Seriously.

Have a look:

And here's the final product:

WIN!

Love Letter

2010-09-10T17:35:00.000-04:00

Dear Victorian Lace Dress,

How are you? You look stunning today. Look, I know we only met a few minutes ago, but I just have to tell you something important. I know this might be hard for you to hear, but...

I love you.

There! It's out! I love you, I love you, I love you! I'm sorry, I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Ever since I first laid eyes on your scalloped lace form, I've known I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Besides, I feel like I've been waiting for you for forever.

I can't offer you much. I have a modest-sized closet that I would love for you to call "home." I even have a wooden hanger reserved just for you! But what I lack in grandeur I will make up in love. I will wear you weekly, and always pair you with my most refined heels-- no polyester will touch your supple, intricate lace! I will dress you down for school with tights, a belt, and a blazer, and up for night with some dazzling earrings. I will do whatever it takes to make this relationship work.

What I'm trying to say is... move in with me. I know this relationship is moving so fast-- I mean, I haven't even tried you on yet!-- but I just know that this is true love.

Just think about it, ok? I'll be waiting.

Love,

(image from shopbop)

Yet Again

2010-08-17T11:35:00.003-04:00

I'm going to start this post the way I have started many a post in the past.

(No, not by explaining how I'm going to start the post)

By saying I'm sorry! I've been so busy getting ready to leave for college that my little blog has been malnourished. But, in an effort to shake the "dead-beat blog parent" title, I'm back! With an adorable and funny picture of a keety:

All better, right?

PS- I try to coax my readers to forgive me with cute kitty picture a lot, don't I?

(image from one of my daily haunts, Cute Overload!)

A Little Fashion Math

2010-08-04T15:52:00.003-04:00

I've been searching far and wide (ok, from Kate Spade outlet to DSW...) for a pair of simple knee-high or over-the-knee socks. I just imagine them peeking out over the top of some riding boots, over tights, with an adorable dress to top it off. And maybe a scarf, just for fun. A chic-meets-schoolgirl-sexy look. Speaking of school, let me give you this little equation to help you out:

A Fashion Equation by oscarcat729 featuring Falke socks

Got it? Now if only I could find the perfect knee socks...

What's your take on the knee-highs trend?

Crush of the Moment

2010-07-23T23:52:00.005-04:00

Liable to change by tomorrow morning, but tonight my celebrity crush is...

...drumroll...

Robert Downey Jr.! Seriously, barring his questionable past, how can you not be in love with this man?

I dare you. Don't fall in love with him. Can't do it, can you? Of course not.

Oh, to pull a Freaky Friday with Susan Downey... that's once lucky lady. I mean, seriously, how in love do they look? (Answer: Sickeningly so)

(image from here)

Who else thinks...

2010-07-13T19:29:00.003-04:00

--nay, knows!-- Brad Pitt looks 1000x hotter without his beard. Without ANY beard-- well-groomed or otherwise.

Proof?

Before:

After:

Thank you, Brad, for ridding yourself of the de-sexy-ifier (the beard).

(pictures from here and here)

Right Now...

2010-07-10T23:49:00.003-04:00

(Yes, that is my thigh. I know I'm pale-- no mocking.)

My baby boy is sitting with my on my bed, playing with some lipstick. It's OK though, it's just a lipstick-shaped pen (Marc Jacobs, of course). He's a manly man at heart.

Emmy Noms: My Take

2010-07-08T11:46:00.007-04:00

(image via here)

It's like my birthday! Why, you ask? No, it isn't my birthday.... but the Emmy nominations were just announced! I'm not crazy enough to wake up at 8:30 just to watch Joel McHale and Sofia Vergara announce them live, but it was the first thing I did when I got up.

And how did things pan out for my favorite shows? Not too badly! Here are some of my personal highlights and lowlights:

YAY: 30 Rock and Modern Family got the Best Comedy nod!

BOO: So did The Office, Glee, Nurse Jackie, and Curb. I guess I can't complain about Curb because I've heard it's very funny, but seriously, Emmy people? Parks and Recreations was deemed by many a critic to be the best of the NBC Thursday line-up this year. And while I disagree in favor of 30 Rock, P&R > The Office this year. And what about Community? Sure, it wasn't stellar this season, but it was better than Glee, which is a clever and innovative show, but not nearly as funny as it needs to be to get a Comedy nod.

YAY: Alec Baldwin was nominated!

BOO: No Joel McHale? No Community love AT ALL? Especially when you evil Emmy producers had him announce the nominees next to Sofia, who was nominated herself and had her show nominated! It was incredibly awkward near the end of the announcements where the big producer guy told Sofia she got a nom and then turned to Joel and was like "I'm sorry you didn't get nominated, but you've very talented blahblahblah." Joel, if you need a hug, I'm here for you.

YAY: Chris Colfer, Ty Burrell, Eric Stonestreet, and Jesse Tyler Fergueson got Supporting Actor nominations! Gotta love all the Modern Fam love!

BOO: No Nick Offerman for the stellar Ron Swanson? Or Aziz Ansari for the lovable doofus Tom Haverford? Or, speaking of lovable doofuses, Chris Pratt for Andy? Danny Pudi for the best character ever, Abed? Danny Glover for the consistently funny Troy? Jack McBrayer for Kenneth the page? Ah, screw it-- there were too many potential nominees this year.

YAY: I can't complain about the Supporting Actress choices-- especially Jane Lynch, Jane Krakowski, Kristin Wiig, Julie Bowen, and Sofia Vergara.

BOO: Wait, yes I can-- no Aubrey Plaza for the dead-pan yet poignant performance as April this year? WTF?

YAY: Can I get a "Hell yea" for the Guest Actor noms? Burt Hummel, Bryan Ryan, Drew Baird, Frank Dunphy and (especially) Devin Banks? HELL YEA!

BOO: I don't care about that Nurse Jackie guy... I would gladly replace him with John Oliver AKA Professor Duncan. Ah well, you can't win 'em all. EDIT: Wait. Just realized something. No Michael Sheen as Wesley Snipes?!?! What the what? He was better than Jon Hamm/Drew Baird! Wow, that's really upsetting.

YAY: Guest actress noms-- yay for Elaine Stritch, Tina Fey, Betty White, and Kristen Chenoweth!

BOO: No Elizabeth Banks for Avery Jessup? I guess I can't really complain about Julianne Moore-- that Boston accent murdered her chances.

YAY: Did you know Psych got nominated?!?! I know, I can't believe it! Granted, it was for Oustanding Music Compositon for a Series.... but hey, baby steps!

So there's my take on the nominees this year. Overall, a solid list with some glaring oversights (P&R and Community). Leave your opinions below!

Dear Internet.

2010-06-26T23:30:00.004-04:00

I'm really craving a Crumbs red velvet cupcake.

Like really, really badly.

Like you promise me a cupcake and I will give you $100 and my address to drive it over to me right now-- that badly.

Ok, not that badly.

But still, really, really badly.

(image via Crumbs Bake Shop)

SORRY!

2010-06-24T08:00:00.003-04:00

So I've been a bit M.I.A. recently... and not the singer. I went to NYC for a few days, and today I start work. Yaaaaay.

But I promise, loyal readers, I'll be back soon with a good post. Pinky promise.

Till then, want a cute kitty picture? Of course you do! Here's my babies:

Sex sex sex blog post sex

2010-06-17T20:23:00.004-04:00

So today was an ultra-lazy day; I didn't even go outside! To detract from my slovenly feelings, I shall tell you an analogy I came up with today:

Television is like food-- in many, many ways. But the analogy of the day (or AOTD, if you will) is this:

Television programs are like food-- you watch/eat the best/yummiest when you have a wide variety of options, but when you're bored/starving and all you can find is junk, you take what you can get.

So how does this relate to my day today? Well, dear readers, all of my TV shows are over. Re-runs just aren't doing it for me right now. So, I noshed on some junk TV.

Enter The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

I had given up this show (much like I gave up Gossip Girl) early last season. Those one-hour dramedies are just too much work for their small entertainment value. And while TSLOTAT (I used this abbreviation while emailing my cousin, and for some reason it irked her. But she doesn't read my blog, and I find it convenient. So take that, cousin!) probably falls under the "So Bad it's Good" category, sometimes it's "So Bad it's-- Actually, No, it's Just Really, Really Bad."

But, frankly, I had seen some clips of it on The Soup recently, and I started to kinda miss those sex-obsessed nut jobs. I missed creepily-devoted Ben, faux-bad-boy Ricky, whiny-biatch Amy, why-does-Jack-even-like-her Madison, why-does-Madison-even-like-him Jack, wow-you-look-like-Ashley-Tisdale-but-you-still-are-boring-as-hell Grace, OMG-you-make-my-mom-look-sane-you-are-so-nosy parents, and frustratingly-emotionless Amy's Sister (who is so void of emotion that I don't even remember her name, despite having watched an episode a mere 3 hours ago). I missed the conversations that went thusly:

Ben: I want to have sex with you.

Amy: I had sex, and I got pregnant. No.

Ben: Ok, fine.

Amy: Does that mean you're going to go off and have sex with other girls?

Ben: Well if you won't have sex with me, what else am I supposed to do?

Amy: You could not have sex.

Ben: Sex sex sex sex sex sex pregnant sex birth control sex sex!

Amy: Sex sex friends sex sex sex school sex sex WHINE sex sex I'M A TEENAGE MOTHER GODDAMIT sex!

Amy's Dad: Sex?

Ben: Sex, Amy's Dad. Sex sex sex love sex sex sex condoms sex sex oral sex sex sex.

John, Amy's 1-year-old son: Sex!

So I head on over to Wikipedia's episode list to get a brief synopsis of what's up in that little town where no one learns anything at school and parents act like teenagers. Apparently, a lot. I watched some of the last episodes of the last season, and the first two episodes of this new season, and now I'm caught up.

I feel like I sold out. I'm sorry, 30 Rock. I've lowered my standards so dramatically since you left me.

This is sad.

2010-06-15T21:12:00.003-04:00

So the other day I just had the most brilliant idea for a blog post. Ok, maybe not brilliant, but it's my retelling so I can fudge the facts. Anyway, the post in question centers around one perfect, awesome, gorgeous item of clothing.

Only problem?

I have searched all my normal shopping sites (J.Crew, Anthro, UO, etc.,etc.) and I can't find a fittingly gorgeous piece. Crazy, right? What is it with the selection nowadays, stores? Just because it's in between clothing seasons, y'all feel like you can slack off? Nuh-uh. Style waits for NO ONE.

But my incredibly witty and fun blog post will have to wait. Until I can find that one dress, shirt, or skirt that calls to me.

So you're stuck with this post for now. Boo.

Surprise!

2010-06-05T18:34:00.003-04:00

So I'm watching the 30 Rock season 3 episode "Cutbacks," and what little background gag do I see?

Let's zoom in a little, shall we?

It's the Dwight bobble-head in Kenneth's apartment! How funny is that? Makes sense too, because Kenneth is a TV nut!

Found any fun background gags in your favorite show recently?

I want to go to there

2010-05-21T17:28:00.002-04:00

It's called The Dry Bar. It's a hair salon that just offers blowouts. I'm one of those girls who almost never gets her hair done, but is 56% more confident and perky for those few days after a haircut when my hair looks so... perfect. So, naturally, this is my kind of place. I think I'd order the Mai Tai. Not only is it a brilliant concept for a store, but the place itself is gorgeous! Seriously, look at this beauty:

If only it wasn't only in LA. Sob.

An Emmy-winning Revelation

2010-05-19T22:38:00.005-04:00

As I sat mere minutes ago, watching the much-anticipated and much-dreaded season finale of Modern Family, I came to an idea so simple, so obvious, and so unoriginal that I can't believe I haven't espoused it yet:

Modern Family should have one the "Best Comedy" Emmy over Glee.

And before you use your keyboard to fire verbal bullets at me, keep in mind that I'm a Gleek. A huge one. I've bought both of their CDs and watch religiously and enthusiastically every week. I love Glee.

But Modern Family is just something so unique, so special, that the viewer (or at least I) feels honored just to watch it. As I watched perfectionist Claire attempt to fix that step that Phil promised many times to fix but never did, I laughed and I empathized. I groaned in embarrassment and gleeful anticipation when Phil thought that Claire saw the kiss. And I nearly DIED laughing when Phil asked Kobe Bryant, "Do you like being a basketball player?" DIED. And when they all gathered together for that group photo, splattering each other with mud as a confused photographer looked on, I felt that this is a family more real and honest than on any other sitcom-- or reality show, for that matter.

Glee is an enchanting and bewildering cocktail of theatrics and drama, singing and dancing, zaniness and emotion. But Modern Family is a subtle and nuanced blend of comedy and poignancy, wit and heart, reality and intricacy. Glee is wonderful, but Modern Family's mix of spot-on actors, intricately interwoven plots, and a touch of sweetness makes the show perfection.

Agree? Disagree? Sound off below.

Dear Internet,

2010-05-16T21:12:00.002-04:00

Seventeen year old boys are assholes. With very few exceptions. Even the ones that look nice and act nice are major assholes. They're so charming and cute and suck you in and then dangle you from a string and let you languish and then they eventually cut the string and you collapse on the floor.

And I have a feeling college guys aren't any better.

Angrily,

PS- (Sorry for the short updates... been having some problems... see above)

Oh, by the way?

2010-05-13T22:59:00.002-04:00

I want a baby otter. Actually, I always have wanted an otter as a pet, especially back when I wanted to be a marine biologist. They're like cats of the sea!

So cute, right?

(image via Cute Overload)

This. Looks. EPIC

2010-05-02T22:22:00.000-04:00

Can't. Wait.

Also. Can't. Stop. Talking. Like. This.

How to wear... Non-Jeans

2010-05-01T16:28:00.006-04:00

How to Wear... Non-Jeans

Since I attend a prep school that forbids us from wearing jeans of any sorts, you know I can--and must-- wear the heck out of khakis. Khakis, chinos, cargos-- as long as it's not jeans, it's all good. Many times I cursed these plain Jane creations, lamenting their monotony and drabness. But as I have expanded my wardrobe beyond these staples, I've realized that these non-jeans-- in moderation and with heaps of creativity-- can be, dare I say it, fashionable! Here are some outfits I hope you'll consider when staring confusedly at your old pair of khakis:

Look #1: Khakis

Surprisingly, Khakis are in this season-- cuffed and torn, they take on a casual-chic air. Playing even more with the casual look, why not add a cropped sweatshirt straight from the fashionable side of the '80's? And if it doesn't have enough embellishments, add some with some lavishly jeweled bracelets, necklaces, and/or sandals:

Light khakis- GAP, Darker khakis- Adriano Goldschmied, Cuff- Urban Outfitters, Sandals- Nordstrom, Embellished crop top- Forever 21, Cropped t-shirt- American Apparel, Necklace- Free People

Look #2: Cargo Pants

Cargo is a little more utilitarian, which is a perfect subtle trend to follow this spring. To soften the look of this macho leg wear, keep the rest of the outfit simple and light. Pieces like a draping vest and cute heels keep this outfit from getting too much like you're about to go fishing:

Cargo pants- J. Crew, Tan vest- Forever 21, White vest- American Eagle, Heels- H&M, Earrings- Carolee

Look #3: Chinos

Chinos are the most sophisticated of the three, and as such, seem too "old" for college students. So I figured that skinny chinos would be easier for a young adult to tackle. Chinos are a pretty blank slate, so you can jazz them up however you'd like; for this outfit I chose some gorgeous draped tank tops from one of my favorite haunts, Anthropologie, plus some sweet and simple accessories:

Chinos (on left)- ASOS, Chinos (on right)- Banana Republic, Tank top (on left)- Anthropologie, Tank top (on right)- Anthropologie, Flats- American Eagle, Earrings- Forever 21

Things to keep in mind:

- Khakis, chinos, and cargo pants are even tamer than jeans, so let the rest of your outfit go crazy! With such plain bottoms, you can pick your boldest, most eye-grabbing top and not feel overdone.

- With these pants, above all, it's about the fit. Don't worry about brand names-- just buy the pair that looks the best on you!

- If, like me, you are "vertically challenged," the rolled-up cuffs trend gives you an excuse to buy a pair of pants and wear them un-tailored-- just cuff them up! I know I always but a pair of pants and then they sit in the bag for months because I'm too lazy to take them to a tailor! If the double-cuffed look goes out of style, then get them hemmed.

- Want to try the loose, torn, and cuffed look, but don't want to spend the money on a trend? Borrow your brother's or boyfriend's khakis and roll them up!

I hope this post gave you some inspiration to wear those boring pants sitting in the back of your dresser!

(first picture found here)

Am I Paranoid?

2010-04-25T15:19:00.004-04:00

Well, yes, but I guess that's not the right question.

I've had a feeling recently that two of my beloved comics are stepping down from their reporting positions. Who, you ask?

Seth Meyers and Joel McHale.

Why, you ask?

I'm afraid that Meyers will soon be usurped by SNL writer/Girl Scout cookie commentator in last night's episode, John Mulaney. As soon as he came on screen, for some reason, I immediately thought, "Oh no, they're testing him out so he can replace Seth!"

Yes, I told you I'm paranoid.

And with McHale's recent Community fame and the addition of Web Soup-- perhaps a "testing ground" for host Chris Hardwick -- Hardwick could easily be being trained to take over.

Is anyone else worried about a sudden upheaval of comic geniuses in charged of ladling us our pop culture news? Sound off below.

You Like?

2010-04-17T13:07:00.002-04:00

Just did a teensy tiny little...

TOTAL blog update. New, lighter colors, new header, new format.

Because it's spring time, and magenta was just getting too heavy for me.

So...

You like?

Happy Day

2010-04-17T12:27:00.003-04:00

Why? Because I got these cuties:

For $45 shipped. (40% off sale items with code SALE40. Thanks Chloe!)

And yesterday I snagged these in the Outnet's $1 sale (I'm one of the lucky ones who just happened to be awake at 6:50 AM!)

They're not really my style, but they were all that was left in my size (yea, it was a pretty hectic way to start the morning).

And for $6 shipped? No question. I'm already thinking of how I can wear them!

What have you bought recently that's made you happy?

(images via Ann Taylor Loft and The Outnet)

Boo Hoo Betty

2010-03-22T22:48:00.003-04:00

(image here)

So I finally got around to watching last Wednesday's episode of Ugly Betty and wow. Someone call the Waaaaaambulance, because Betty just threw herself a pity party!

"What if taking off my braces don't change anything?" "Every time I take a step forward, someone pushes me back" and blahblahblah.

Wait a sec Betty-- do you not have a kick-ass job that millions of girls-- including me-- would die for? Do you not have a loving and supportive family? And have you not had dozens of guys falling head-over-heels for you?

Yes, you have.

And they don't even break up with you! You ditch them! Almost every time! Sure, Matt broke up with you, but then you got back together and split up with mutual agreement.

And this guy who broke your heart? How long were you dating for, like a week? I'm 17, and even I know that that's not long enough for a legit relationship. I know he was hot, but he wanted to keep seeing you. YOU were the one that broke it off.

Moral of the story? Quit b*tching, Betty. I'm not buying it.

Coincidence? ...Maybe

2010-03-19T10:11:00.003-04:00

Did this NBC Thursday night comedy line-up remind anyone else of Arrested Development? Here are the clues-

- We got a visit from Starla the Business Model (and Quincy-lover) and the un-named Blue Man Group assistant (Andy Samberg) via Parks and Recreation.

- Community gave us none other than BUSTER BLUTH! Acting just a bit Buster-y.

- On 30 Rock, Kenneth gave us this gem:

"My cousin in Atlanta is a business model. She holds up staplers for catalogs."

Remind you of anyone? Oh, I don't know, maybe Gob's "Oh, I have a business model" mess up? If only Devon had been at Geiss's funeral, then it would've been a perfect storm of Arrested Development memories!

Anyone think this was on purpose? Any other moments that reminded you of the beloved Bluths? Comment!

Dear Internet,

2010-03-16T10:16:00.005-04:00

I want to go to there.

Don't you?

Conquering Photoshop: Part One

2010-03-13T11:24:00.005-05:00

Part One of Conquering Photoshop: The Photoshop Saga

(Or, My ill-fated attempt to make myself more tech-savvy than my dad.)

Because I dream of one day becoming involved in graphic design and/or advertising, my dad, the Mac nerd, encouraged me to learn how to use Photoshop (even though my version of Photoshop is old so when possible employers ask "Are you proficient in the latest version of Photoshop?" I can say, "Well, I'm sure it's pretty much the same as the one I learned. So sure."

Let me preface this with this fact: I know how to use Photoshop. I've been collage-ing and making cheesy birthday cards on Photoshop for years. But he meant learn how to legit use it, unlike my what-does-this-do-let's-try-it-whoopsie technique. So he ordered Adobe Photoshop CS one-on-one. It's a gigantic tutorial book with a corresponding CD. It got here a few days ago, and I've been stalling.

So today, I cracked it open. Popped in the CD (which made my computer groan like I had just assigned it a 5-paragraph King Lear essay). Installed all the crap, read the intro, watched the first lesson video.

Lesson 1, step 1: Choose File-->Browse. Ok, sure. File... browse.... crap. It "unexpectedly quits." ^$#*@%. No problem, no need to get discouraged, try again. File.... browse..... holyfreakingcrap. Quits again.

Try three more times.

Try not to scream.

Send a strongly worded email to my dad, bemoaning my luck and my freakingcomputer.

Tell him to FIX IT PLZZZ.

Realize it may have to do with that pesky little notice that appears each time I open Photoshop-- y'know, the one I always ignored?-- that says "One or more files in the Adobe Application Support folder, necessary for running Photoshop, are missing. Please run the Photoshop installer and re-install Photoshop."

Yea, that one. Damn it to hell. Of course it's that.

I'm finally ready, finally excited and prepared, and my computer just gives up. On lesson 1, step 1!

To be continued...

Handsome

2010-03-08T11:03:00.002-05:00

I never watch Jimmy Kimmel, but this is just hilarious. And great eye candy. Love!

Caption it!

2010-03-04T19:26:00.005-05:00

Found this photo of Lindsay Lohan and her dog (here). That poor dog...

Possible captions:

Dog: So many things... I can't un-see...

Dog: I'm just glad she isn't driving.

Add some more below. Seriously, this picture is begging for a caption.

Lives are for Losers

2010-02-28T12:53:00.003-05:00

I was laughing hysterically at this youtube clip, so my dad asked me what I was watching. After showing him, he simply responded, "You need to get a life."

And I agree.

But I still freaking love this video.

How to get really depressed

2010-02-18T20:33:00.003-05:00

Instructions:

1. Go online.

2. Go to an online store that's slightly above your price level, but the sale section is do-able (try J.Crew, Revolve, Anthropologie, etc.).

3. Look through the sale section. Spy a cute, cheap skirt/shirt/dress.

4. Examine it further. Realize it's the only piece of clothing you ever want. Realize you cannot live without it.

5. Check what sizes it's available in.

6. Cry

7. Briefly wish you were a size large so you could buy it.

8. Get depressed.

Tada!

I heart you

2010-02-14T11:57:00.005-05:00

Happy Valentines Day, my lovely readers! May your Sunday be filled to the brim with love, smiles, laughter...

and cupcakes. Especially cupcakes.

(Photo via Epicute)

Liz's New Boy Toy?

2010-02-12T20:57:00.003-05:00

So last night's episode of 30 Rock, featuring all of Liz's exes, got me thinking: Who should guest star as Liz's new beau? She's got to get one sooner or later, right?

And then it hit me.

The perfect guy.

Funny.

Handsome.

Quirky.

Age-appropriate (one year older than Tina).

Want to guess?

Hint: It has to do with one of my recent obsessions.

Any ideas?

Give up?

Ok, here it is:

Jason Bateman.

BAM!

He's hilarious but can also play the straight man. His character can be very Floyd-esque (or they could just bring back Floyd for good... no complaints there).

Ooh! But his character has a secret: he's Devon Banks's brother! TWIST! And a chance to see Bateman and Arnett as brothers on screen... which all Arrested Development fans know creates a burst of comedic amazingness.

So get on it, 30 Rock writers!

Any other suggestions for Liz's new BF? Tell me in the comments!

30 Rock 4.10 Recap

2010-02-10T19:38:00.012-05:00

30 Rock, Season 4, Episode 10, Black Light Attack!

Tongue girth! Quidditch! Black lights! Gossip Girl! Such were the topics discussed on this odd, crazy, ridiculous Thursday half hour that is 30 Rock!

Realer than dying of old age at 41:

- I love how they're acknowledging that Danny's not really a real actor-- hence his characters, Robot Lorenzo Llamas, Robot Ryan Seacrest, and David Hassel-bot. Plus 4.

- I don't watch Seinfeld, but even I knew Lutz was wearing the Bro!

See? Plus 3.

- This is my 3rd time watching this episode, and I just now noticed that when Toofer is talking about Quidditch, Frank is drinking a... tub? of beer. This show gets better and better with each watch! Plus 2.

- "Skankovitch" just replaced "non-pillow" as my new favorite 30 Rock insult. Plus 2.

- For some reason, I love men imitating women in high voices (especially Shawn from Psych), so Jack's imitation of "the new girl" gets a plus 1.

- Another thing I totally missed the first time? Pete's "Oh, I love that show!" after Jenna mentions her audition for Gossip Girl. Oh, Pete. Plus 1.

- Jack's face as he realizes Danny's secret rendezvous it with Liz... plus 4.

- Tartine and Wainwright are two of the alleged Gossip Girl names. Just the right combination of weird and preppy! Plus 3.

- "What did he do to the back of your knees?" Plus 3.

- "I threw them in the deep end of the pool... to help with their fear of sharks."

1. What did Tracy do so as to incite a fear of sharks in not one but both of his children?

2. Does Tracy have sharks in his pool? I bet he does.

3. Plus 4.

- The callback to CHiP's Larry Wilcox (when Danny wears the uniform and wig), Liz's first crush. Perfect. Plus 5.

- Liz's happy whistling is... bad. Loud and not in tune. Which just makes it more hilarious. Plus 3.

- Don't know if that high-pitched/low-pitched youth/adult tone thing is legit, but either way, Jenna's reaction to it makes it worth the lie. Plus 1.

- "Well I had a porterhouse for two, alone, I am very angry and sleepy." Nice subtle joke in an otherwise crazy episode. Plus 1.

- "She has really thin lips but she makes up for it with tongue girth." The perfect combination of OMGLOL and Ew. Plus 5.

- Liz named her mustache Tom Selleck. Plus 4.

- Tracy thinking Liz is the "nice man" coming to take Sue is funny... but not at all funny enough to make up for the unfunny Tracy/Sue plot this week. Still, plus 1.

- Jack and Liz's fake love story line has been done before (at the ball to make Bianca jealous, in Jack's office to make Kathy Geiss jealous), but I love it every time (not because I'm a Lack shipper. Ew). Plus 6.

- Gossip Girl would SO make someone die of old age at 41. Because after that they get, like, boring, you know? Plus 4.

- P.S. Did anyone else notice that Jenna's character's deathbed is a living room couch? I could totally see a lame TV show doing that, just so they don't have to build another set for the bedroom. Plus 2.

- Oh, Tina Fey. You will embarrass yourself by dancing like a nerd and letting thousands of people watch it, and that is one of the many reasons I love you. Plus 2.

Total: 61

Faker than Jack's attraction to Liz:

- To answer your question, Toofer: Because if they didn't, it would just be a two-person game, and that's no fun. Or else there would be over a dozen people smacking into each other, trying to grab the Snitch. Duh. Minus 1.

- Ok... is it just me or does that neon yellow drink in Liz's cup look... gooey... like a smoothie mixed with highlighter ink. Ew. Minus 2.

- Is it weird that I kinda like the idea of Danny and Jenna together? Denna? Janny? Either way, it's better than Diz... or Lanny (more on that later). Minus 3.

- Danny came onto Liz?! No.... just no. Although the other way sounds almost equally weird. Minus 5.

- The "Madonna"-face Liz makes... kinda weak. Try harder at pretending to creepily cling to youth. Minus 2.

- Everything about the Lanny/Diz fling just... doesn't work. Why would Danny go after Liz? Is Liz really attracted to Danny? It just doesn't work for me at all-- even for a fling! Minus 20.

- Wait a second... a power struggle over a guy Liz is "dating" and Jack is friends with? It's Floyd all over again! Minus 3, because in most comparisons between Danny and Floyd, Floyd would win.

- "Scrumpnugget"? WTF? Not funny, just... stupid. Minus 2.

- The whole entourage= family, Tracy= father, Sue= teenage daughter thing is way overdone. Minus 14.

- Just realized that the description for this episode on Hulu says: "Danny reveals to Jack he's having secret make-out sessions with a TGS writer." I know we discover pretty early that it's LL, but if you're watching this episode for the first time, you assume it's a girl (because I don't think 30 Rock would commit to the gay thing, especially for such a main character), and the only girl writers are Liz and Sue. And if you've heard or seen anything about the episode, you know that Sue already has a plot line. So, secret's out. Minus 4.

Total: 56

So despite some major plot line no-no's, 30 Rock prevailed yet again this week, thanks to their always abundant stash of one-liners.

Me Gustan Mucho

2010-02-08T11:16:00.003-05:00

Si, I speak Español. Try to contain your awe.

I only bring out the spanish when something gets me really happy. Wanna know what it is?

These.

Never before have I been so excited about... tables. I mean, just look at these simple stream-lined beauties!

Talk about your OOMPH! Now I just need to rob a bank and drive on over to my closest retailer, and I'll be all set!

30 Rock 4.09 Recap

2010-02-06T16:50:00.011-05:00

It's been awhile... I've been lazy... but it's all worth it, because here comes a nice juicy recap of a hilarious episode! (And 3 more to come after this one!)

30 Rock, Season 4, episode 9, "Klaus and Greta"

Jenna "dates" James Franco. Jack leaves a drunk voicemail. Liz outs her cousin. Happy 30 Rock New Year, everyone!

Realer than Liz leaving Cerie drunken messages:

- "Does chewing on a sponge trick your brain's hunger center? Yes!" You learn something new every day. Plus 3

- "Make sure his manager doesn't screw her."

"Too late! Oh wait, which way did you mean that?" I love you, Jenna. Plus 2.

- The protests to the switch-screen after TJ says he thinks he got Angie pregnant... perfection. Plus 5.

- Liz is "a frequent leaver of drunk messages" Plus 4 for the callback to "Episode 210" and her night of drunken co-op board calls.

- "I've lemoned this situation with Nancy!" Yay, new 30 Rock word!

Lemon (v.): to mess up irrevocably. Plus 5.

- James Franco kinda weirds me out. At first this was going to be a minus, but I realized he's supposed to weird me out. So plus 2.

- Liz's cousin is hot. Plus 4, because we ladies (ok, we teens. I guess he's kind of young for most viewers) haven't had such eye candy on 30 Rock since Jon Hamm left.

- "Nope, that's a serial killer, just get a cab." Living in NY allows people to say that so matter-of-fact-ly. Plus 1.

- Jonathan vs. Kenneth. I sense some very comedic potential in this possible rivalry. Plus 2.

- Kenneth vs. Computer. An even more epic rivalry. Plus 4.

- Poor Jenna. She is just a walking tragedy, isn't she? No points, just pity.

- Liz has a cardigan with "fuzzy buttons" that she's "afraid to wear." Which makes sense because I'm afraid to see it. BOOM! Roasted. Plus 2.

- "Sir, I don't mean to swear, but I am irritated right now." Kenneth, I love you. Plus 3.

- I'm not a fan of Nancy, but I am a fan of how lovesick Jack is. So sweet! Plus 6.

- Someone needs to make some more official rules for the "Today Show Drinking Game." It sounds fun! Plus 4.

- I swear to God, right before Liz asked Jenna "Why are you wearing a man's shirt and no pants?" I thought, "Why is Jenna wearing a Liz-like shirt?" She does wear a lot of plaid... plus 2.

- Kenneth is seen drinking a juice box. Plus 1.

- The code spells Klaus!! Did not see that one coming. Seriously, good twist! Plus 3.

- "You should buy a leather jacket!" The enthusiasm with which Kenneth says this sentence is overwhelming and perfectly Kenneth. Plus 2.

- "You're being such a non-pillow right now!" = my new favorite insult. Plus 3.

- When Jack's on the call, Kenneth takes Cerie's hand, a la the same way he did with Jonathan earlier on. Cerie doesn't take her hand away right away! Is anyone else a Cenneth/Kerie shipper? They'd be so cute together... plus 3.

- Oh Liz Lemon. You never fail to amaze me with your ridiculousness. Question: Is having a three-way with a celebrity and a pillow an all-time low or all-time high? Either way, plus 5.

Total: 66

Faker than Jenna and James's relationship:

- That Blossom reference went right over my head so minus 1.

- On New Years Jonathan met his birth parents... I kind of want to feel bad because Jack doesn't care about poor Jonathan... but I don't really care either. Minus 2.

- Kumiko reminds me of my Wii nemesis, Fumiko. Have you ever played tennis against her? That Mii is a b*tch. Minus 1.

- Liz's hot cousin only served to remind me that all hot guys are gay... minus 3.
- Did Kenneth really step through that coat hanger? That must've been fake... right? Minus 2.
- "And it gets even better. I just had a burrito." Surprisingly, I didn't find this random TJ quip funny. It wasn't ridiculous enough. Minus 2.
- "Having ice-cold diarrhea from drinking Jamba Juice..." Ew. Just... ew. And how? Minus 4.
- Super-religious Kenneth has seen or read The Da Vinci Code? Minus 6.
- I understand that Liz is protective of her cousin, but why is she trying to bore him to death with "making nachos and seeing who can fall asleep the earliest?" Minus 5.
- Of course I looked up to see if Kenneth was right when he said typing in "Nancy's Secrets" into Google gives you "a store that sells wig extensions." He wasn't. These guys noticed also. Minus 6.
- Kenneth deleted the message. He has a backbone? Minus 1.
- Tracy's odd "Is every woman someone's daughter?"realization just didn't work for me. Minus 3.
- Liz's mom-esque speech to Randy reminds me... what happened to the whole adoption plot line? That was dropped like Ugly Betty. (That's both a dig at UB's plot holes and it's recent cancellation. Which I'm sad about, but I couldn't resist the joke.) Minus 5.
Total: 41

This was, no contest, a very real, very funny episode of 30 Rock. The next recap should be up in a day or two!

It's back!

2010-02-02T21:30:00.005-05:00

My day just got about 10%* better. Wanna know why?

THE PUPPYCAM IS BACK!

Yes, rejoice fellow cute-baby-animal lovers, we can once more soak in the cuteness of Shiba Inu puppies... live! They're so little and fat right now.

*Normally it would be more, but I'm especially hard to please today. What is the point of english essays?!

A Glee Realization

2010-01-29T16:31:00.004-05:00

Just watched the Glee finale "Sectionals" (or was it a mid-season finale?) on Hulu. While watching the "My Life Would Suck without You" number, I realized something. Actually, at first I just thought the choreography was really mismatched. But THEN I realized that they were doing a medley of all the dances they've done that season! There was hairography from "Hair," some wheelchair bouncing from "Proud Mary," and even some stuff from the non-teacher-approved "Push It."

Don't believe me? Have a look for yourself:

Was this completely obvious and I was totally clueless? Or is this a revelation for you too?

So Cute

2010-01-25T20:34:00.003-05:00

(Click for larger)

I'm kind of in love with this playroom, found here.

For my future children.

... or myself.

Yea, just for me.

Whoopsie

2010-01-22T06:36:00.003-05:00

Readers, all two of you, I am so sorry. I have note posted the 30 Rock recaps like I said I would. And I'm out of town this weekend, so... you'll have to bear with me just a bit longer. Next week is a buzzzzzzy week. Bzzzzz. (I'm thinking about bees again), but I have made a promise to you lovely people and I wont let you down! I just... don't know when I'll fulfill said promise.

Don't hate me, reader (I assume that one of you has left after this post, especially if you didn't get the Arrested Development reference).

Love always,

PS: Would an adorable picture of my kitties lighten the blow? Let's try it:

Awwwwww!

Deal of the Day!

2010-01-14T22:48:00.005-05:00

So this week was a double-30 Rock-- yippee! Unfortunately, I'm kind of overwhelmed with schoolwork, so the recaps wont be out until this weekend. I know, I know, try to contain your tears.

To tide you over, here's my latest home decor steal, straight from one of my favorite home decor haunts, Crate and Barrel! They're having MAJOR sales right now, and not just on holiday stuff! Check out this pillow I got, for... drumroll.... $10!

Isn't is gooorgeous? It's not just stripes, it's flaps of felt. It looks so much better in person. Right now it's plopped on a hideous section of a couch that's acting as an armchair... and has a gaping hole in the cushion. So the pro/con (depending on the way you look at it) of this pillow is it makes me want a new armchair! Maybe something purple... or blue...

Anyways, grab this pillow for yourself here and check back here in a few days for not one but two 30 Rock recaps!

The One Thing No One Else Has

2010-01-08T20:23:00.005-05:00

If you read this blog, you know I have many pet peeves. Here's one, courtesy of the played-waaay-too-often promo for some movie or TV show or something. If you want, skip to the :16 mark.

"We can give her the one thing nobody else [ever] has; we can love her." [I swear they say "ever" on the TV version, which is slightly different].

Really? No one else has love? Seriously? Nobody else in the entire town, continent, or world has love. I just can't even fathom how many hard-core death metal albums the writers had to listen to to come up with this depressing statement.

And shouldn't it be "We can give her the one thing nobody else has: love"? The original way isn't technically wrong, it just sounds... sloppy. C'mon, writers. I know you're depressed about maybe having graduated Cum Laude from Harvard or something, and now you having a job writing for some crappy CW show, but have just an ounce of forethought. The commercial is on every single commercial break on The CW, and you couldn't wrestle out any somewhat meaningful and/or sensical dialogue to entice viewers?

C'mon.

Get it together.

PS: Am I the only one who thinks the mom looks the same age as the daughter?

Chilling

2010-01-08T17:02:00.001-05:00

Me right now:

- Glass of iced tea

- Salt and Cracked Pepper chips (my new obsession)

- Entertainment Weekly

- Friends rerun

Could life get any better?

Wait, don't answer that.

What are you doing, readers?

Thank you, Eagle Eyes!

2010-01-06T15:16:00.005-05:00

No, Eagle Eyes isn't my Native American friend; it's a survey group for the lovely American Eagle. I joined a while ago on a whim, and occasionally they send me quick surveys that I'm happy to complete. It's actually kind of fun, since I love advertising. It's like getting a behind-the-scenes look at marketing!

Anyway, they sent me a gift! I feel so special! Along with the tousands of other Eagle Eyes participants.... but if you know me, you know I love free stuff. Especially if that free stuff is usable (and still has a tag on it-- for $20!).

So thanks again, American Eagle! And if you haven't already, join Eagle Eyes here!

Note: They didn't pay me for this post, I just love sharing my free stuff.

30 Rock 4.08 Recap

2009-12-28T20:30:00.019-05:00

30 Rock, Season 4, episode 8: "Secret Santa"

Jack breaks out his Boston accent... and his high school crush. Liz's hair scares me... and so does her "singing." Pete continues his long journey that will ultimately end in insanity. The writers make up a religion.

'Twas a fine 30 Rock, indeed. Role the recap!

Realer than Liz Lemon gifting someone "Cheese of the Month":

- Nipple slip+ jigsaw puzzle= acceptable gift. Only in Jenna's world... plus 2.

- Requiring execs to get Youface pages to humble-ize them during this economic frenzy. Sounds like something PR would try. Plus 1.

- Apparently all of Liz's high school boyfriends are now gay... this was going to be fake-- because really, how many boyfriends could LL have in high school?-- but if her gay ex's are also the ex's who attended clown college... plus 4.

- "Bath salts in a coffee mug" is LL's go-to gift. Probably because that's what she would want herself. Plus 3.

- The way Jack says to Cerie, "Would you get us some pens?" Brilliant. Plus 5.

- Off-topic, but I'm in love with Cerie's sweater-dress from Topshop. Plus 4.

- I googled Larry Wilcox, and... well, plus 3 and look for yourself:

- LL is disgusted when she types in You-face instead of Youface and gets some weird site... and yet she keeps looking for a good 5 seconds. Plus 3, because everyone keeps looking at gross stuff out of curiosity.

- Frank's hat says "PG-25." Plus 5.

- Plus 2 for this exchange I missed during my first two viewings:

Kenneth: A picture of President Obama for the Muslims.

Tracy: I'm going to let that one slide.

- "Oh Meatball of Verduke, you bring me such peace/pizza/meatball." Sounds legit. Plus 2.

- "New guy is as good at singing as Tracy Jordan is at everything." Plus 2 for the quote and plus 1 for Tracy also calling Danny "New Guy" (see the 3rd "faker").

- "I'm sorry, are you being sarcastic? Canadians have a hard time recognizing it because we don't have a big Jewish population." Plus 4.

- I love Danny singing. I love Danny in general. More of him, please! Plus 6.

- Plus 5 for the best explanation of why Catholics don't eat meat on Fridays ever.

- Status: Weirdsies. Plus 2.

- "Can't I just enjoy this while it lasts?" "Hey. That's what I said when that hotdog vendor passed out, but you made me get help." Plus 4 for that exchange that made me LOL and plus 2 for the subtle suggestion that Jack and Liz hang out together.

- Danny "got" sarcasm pretty quickly! Plus 1.

- Only in 30 Rock world would calling in a bomb threat to Penn station be a great Christmas present. Plus 4.

Total: 65

Faker than Danny's bad singing:

- Pete's midlife crisis involves skinny jeans. Minus 3 just for the image that puts in my head.

- Wait... Cerie is writing stuff down for Liz... what is Cerie's job, anyway? Minus 2 for never explaining it.

- "New Guy," as Pete calls him, hasn't been on TGS the past two weeks. You'd think the writers would welcome this new blood, which would allow them to do a sketch or two not devoted to Jenna playing a blonde bimbo or Tracy playing a crazy black man-- or Oprah. Minus 6.

- The whole Kenneth-is-Godzilla thing when he steps on the mini Christmas scene. Minus 4 because it was too cliché (although I did enjoy the random Asian guy).

- Am I the only one who thinks Secret Santa is kind of fun? Yes? Ok, never mind.

- When presented with Jack's high school play poster, LL ponders, "I thought you had stage fright." So did we. Hmm.... minus 4 for never explaining that.

- Not only does Tracy realize that Verdukianism isn't a real holiday on his own, but he also comes up with an idea to try and reveal its fakeness? Wait, since when did Tracy become smart? Minus 10.

- I wanted to see Tracy play Josh Groban. Minus 1.

- I really don't like Nancy. Or her accent. Minus 14.

- "Gentle flossing performed by a blonde virgin." Ew. I know it's supposed to be funny, but why would anyone want someone other than a dentist with gloves to floss their teeth? Minus 4.

- Trying to decide if Jenna's Christmas story was real or not... either way, minus 2 because it was getting a bit too pathetic/sad and not funny enough.

- I hope Nancy's sons are late into their teens; she keeps leaving them alone in NYC! Minus 2.

Total: 52

Overall, a solidly real-- and hilarious-- episode. The next new episode airs January 14th-- can't wait!

A New Feature!

2009-12-28T19:59:00.004-05:00

I've decided to add a new feature on my blog! Seeing as now it's kind of... well... featureless. It's based on the amazing Daily Intel's Gossip Girl recaps (see here for the latest). Because those recaps were seriously the only reason I stayed with Gossip Girl for so long... so I thought I'd bring some love to my fellow TV fans! But what show will I be featuring?

30 ROCK!

It took me a while to decide on a show, but I chose 30 Rock for many reasons:

1. I won't mind watching each episode a few times

2. The characters are very specific and unique, making the reality index easy to score

3. It's only 30 minutes and has tons of one-liners, hence my attention span (and writing span) will stay intact.

Are you game? I can't wait! My first recap will be of the last episode that aired before this darn holiday break! It'll probably be up soon because I'm so darn excited!

Holiday Cards

2009-12-25T10:13:00.004-05:00

Merry Christmas to all!

On the topic of Christmas, we've received many wonderful holiday cards this year from family and family friends and a ton of people I've never even met. Holiday cards are fun and motivate us to clean our cluttered fridge door.

So, naturally, my parents wanted to do a holiday card like we do every year. But holiday cards are particularly awkward for only children like me. It's just you, year after year. And frankly, no one cares about getting holiday cards of only children after they turn 15 or so. We have cards of siblings older than 15, but that's OK because there's three of them. We got cards of three-year-old onlies but that's OK because they're adorable. A sixteen-year-old only is not worth an inch of precious space on the fridge.

So this year my ultimatum was... I can't be the only one on the card. Add the cats or even my parents-- because, after all, they're the ones who want to do this--, but I'm not doing it alone this year.

So it's Christmas morning and we have yet to take a good picture to send out. So I thought the subject would be kaput, right? WRONG. My parents still want to send a holiday card! After the holidays!?

All I know is that I'm going to resist with all my might. But, being outnumbered, it's going to be a tough battle. Wish me luck and I'll keep you updated.

Ugly Betty= Glee?

2009-12-21T20:45:00.003-05:00

I've recently noticed the similarities between Glee and Ugly Betty:

- both are perky, bright, quirky, upbeat

- both are hour-long soap opera/telenovela/dramedy mixes

Now the characters:

Kurt= Mark/Justin: Somewhat stereotypical gay guys (OK, Justin said he isn't gay... but c'mon). Love fashion, singing, and dancing.

Mercedes= Christina: This one's a bit of a stretch. Both offer advice. That's about it.

Terri= Charlie: Manipulative, clingy, "pregnant" beeyotches, succumbing to sinister standards in order to keep their man (Will/Henry) from leaving

Will= Daniel: The man in charge. Sometimes clueless, sometimes misguided, but generally has a heart of gold.

Rachel= Betty: The heroine. Plucky and confident. Don't care what other people think of them. Both are very career-driven.

Puck= Santos/Bobby: The "bad boy." All of them got a girl pregnant.

Finn= Henry/Matt: The "good guy." All stay with their accidentally-pregnant girlfriends (even though Matt's was a false alarm). Are in love with the heroine.

Sue= Wilhelmina: Scheming, generally evil, powerful women trying to bring down man in charge (Will/Daniel)

Cheerleaders= Mode girls: Mean, catty, popular, skinny.

Any other ideas?

Loving H&M

2009-12-19T12:06:00.004-05:00

I am LOVING this Fashion Studio game, courtesy of H&M. It's great advertising too, because it really makes me want to buy these clothes! If only H&M had an online store for the USA... hinthint.

Seriously, this is one of the best realistic virtual dress ups I've ever seen. Everything fits seamlessly, and they even added some subtle-yet-important touches, like when you put a belt over a loose top, the top automatically constricts under the belt. It's amazing! They even have a "Tuck jeans into boots" feature! Brilliant!

Here are some of my creations to give you a little taste of how awesome it is (click to enlarge):

New High

2009-12-15T19:40:00.006-05:00

(I know, I get one like every week!)

Arrested Development.

I've heard plenty of people singing the praises of this show, and never really gave it a chance due to, well, being totally absorbed/satisfied with other comedies. But now that my Office attachment is weakening (it's just not that funny anymore), I've decided to take on a new lover.

And he is HOT. Really hot. And sweet. And I'm head-over-heels with him. I can't get enough. I'm going through two or three episodes a day.

I'm in love!

Plus Jason Bateman really is hot.

Love at first sight...

2009-12-10T20:27:00.003-05:00

I've fallen in love!

... with a bank.

..../elephant

.... and it's pink.

But how could you NOT love this guy? And wouldn't he look awesome in a (read: my) dorm room?

Get him here.

Whoops

2009-12-06T22:09:00.002-05:00

In my sleepy delirium this morning, I saw out of the corner of my eye a Victoria's Secret bag, which has the company's website, victoriassecret.com, on it.

I read it quickly, and saw "Victoria's Secretions."

I'm surprised I haven't seen a joke about this ever before.

An Amazing Discovery

2009-11-29T22:49:00.004-05:00

I rarely watch commercials when I'm consciously watching TV. But when I put Friends on in the background just for noise, I'm too lazy to fast forward over the commercials. Thank goodness for that, because it led to my newest discovery.

You know that "TLC: Tender Loving Caltrate" commercial? Kinda cheesy, nothing memorable. Here it is to refresh your memory:

See who that is? The lady playing the daughter at the end? It's Ellie Kemper, Erin from The Office!

Cool, huh? No? Ok then.... never mind.

You know you're Farmville-crazy when...

2009-11-27T11:46:00.002-05:00

... You have a dream about Farmville. A realistic one.

Oh crap.

Prepare to cry...

2009-11-22T21:25:00.001-05:00

... from laughing so hard. I did.

BALL?!

TV Connection: Blonde Bombshells

2009-11-21T08:15:00.004-05:00

I'm finding so many TV connections these days, I should just start my own TV show that's just cliché after cliché after cliché. It will revolve around a suave, sarcastic 30-year old male and his friends, Sassy Black Woman, Lovable Geek, Stupid Womanizer, and Normal Girl, who he constantly flirts with.

Anyways, back to my most recent tv connection. This one is between The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Glee, and The Office. A blonde super-religious woman who doesn't believe in premarital sex (Grace/Quinn/Angela) has sex and suffers through the consequences (father's death/pregnancy/dumped by fiance and lover)

BONUS: Two of these people (Quinn/Angela) cheated on their good-hearted but naive boyfriends (Finn/Andy) with their true loves (Puck/Dwight).

EXTRA BONUS: Two of these people (Grace/Quinn) were cheerleaders. And wore their uniforms to school like everyday. Seriously, do they have five of the same cheerleading dress, do they do their laundry every night, or are those dresses reeaallly dirty?

Ah well. Any other examples from other shows? I think this one is a pretty good one!

Congrats and a Pet Peeve

2009-11-18T11:42:00.005-05:00

Just wanted to wish a big ol' congratulations to John and Sherry of Young House Love, my favorite home decor blog, on their soon-to-be baby! You guys are going to be awesome parents and the baby is going to be adorable (and a home decor genius!)! Plus the nursery is going to be AH. MAZING.

And, as most things tend to do, this caused my mind to wander. And I realized one of my pet peeves (which Jon and Sherry have not used, btw). The phrase "We're pregnant" is just weird to me. I know it's meant to include the father in the festivities, but couldn't you just say "We're having a baby" or "We're going to be parents"? I don't mind if the woman says "I'm pregnant" or the man says "She's pregnant." It's just the whole "we" thing that makes me thing of Thomas Beatie and sea horses...

Anyone else feel the same way?

A Letter to Teen Vogue

2009-11-14T20:22:00.004-05:00

Dear Teen Vogue,

I used to love you. Note the "used to." I just got your most recent issue and am over half way through it and I must say our love affair is officially over. When we started, you represented the quintessence of cool, a delicious taste of what I could and might be someday. But as I collected issues, I realized that I could never be one of those stylish girls gracing your pages. For any "normal" girl you showcase has a quasi-famous or super-rich parent. You may as well rename your magazine "Rich, Quasi-Famous Teen Vogue." You cater to the Manhattan socialites who are invited to events because of their famous artist father or who start a fashion line just because they have the money, even if they lack the talent.

What's more, you're pretentious. I'm sorry to be so rude, but "to plainness honor's bound when Majesty falls to folly" (yes, I just quoted King Lear. I can be pretentious too, so SUCK IT). You showcase up-and-comers, letting your "discoveries" parade around your magazine like trophies to be harvested when they land their first big gig. News flash: no one cares about two-movies-to-her-name Lily Collins. Why do you do this? I doubt it's because you can't get big names for your magazine... so is it because you actually think we care? Or do you just want the satisfaction of smirking and yelling "I told you so" when Lily lands her first big role?

Another thing: why are your photo-shoots so similar and crappy? Your photo-shoots used to be so whimsical and different, while keeping a strong footing in reality. Now it's all neon and chunky necklaces on top of a gorgeous dress that 90% of teenagers can't afford. And even when you advertise something as "budget-friendly," it's still $70 for a shirt. Seriously? Go outside and ask the first ten teens you see how much they're able to spend on a shirt. Try not to pass out when they say "$40 or lower."

I'm just saying, please, get off your high horse and come back down to the world of reality. Otherwise, future preteens wont look to you for their sartorial fantasies as I did long ago.

Sincerely,

Random Nobody

Anthropologie Inspiration for November 2009

2009-11-09T15:59:00.007-05:00

I've been pretty busy doing homework (read: watching TV) the past couple of days, and on top of that I've had major blogger's blog. But I'm back! *insert raucous applause*

So I got my first Anthropologie catalogue last week. IT. IS. GORGEOUS.

I especially love the backdrop of the old mansion filled with (fake) snow. Just inspired. Here's some proof:

So whimsical, so innovative, so pretty! Of course I would expect nothing less from my beloved anthro. Seriously, how could you not become enchanted by this:

I dare you. And there was more whimsical fun to be had throughout this catalogue. Class, turn to page 35 for a superb example of irony at the peak of its beauty:

Book with paper pages. Paper from trees cut into tree shapes. All to compliment the Enchanted Woods iPhone dock. A mix of old and new. I love it.

I have no reason as to why I love this. It's just too freaking cute.

I WANT THIS DRESS. I will travel to where ever she seems to be walking (Ireland?) and steal it from her. Seriously. It's gorgeous.

So, dear readers, there you have it. Any catalogues that inspire you, fashion-wise or decor-wise? Do tell!

Photos from Anthropologie's November 2009 catalogue, online here.

Smoke Up, Johnny

2009-11-06T22:31:00.003-05:00

Today, I understood two allusions to The Breakfast Club on Family Guy because they had previously been alluded to on Psych and Community.

It just goes to show that TV can teach you so much... about movies.

Mind. Blown.

2009-11-04T16:34:00.002-05:00

Ok, so if you've watched the last episode of The Office then you know that

***SPOILER ALERT FOR PREVIOUS EP***

Michael is dating Pam's mom. So I'm watching "Chair Model," an episode from last season, and everyone has to write down someone to set Michael up with, because Michael is... well, desperate and pathetic. Anyway, Jim is writing someone down, and the convo goes like this:

Pam: Who are you putting down?

Jim: Oh, you don't know her.

Pam: Who is it?

Jim: You're mom.

Pam: [laughs] Yea, whatever.

Of course Jim is joking, but STILL! Major, most likely unplanned foreshadowing!

And if it was planned, the writers of The Office have proven themselves even more amazing than I previously thought.

Animal Miracles

2009-11-01T11:38:00.002-05:00

So it's a Lazy Sunday and my Tivo is virtually empty. So I see what the always-misguided Tivo suggestions has left me, and it's so random. Some show called Animal Miracles, when I haven't even turned to Animal Planet in years. But it's the best of what I have, so I put it on as background noise.

It has stories of these miraculous animals doing miraculous things. Heartwarming and all, but the show itself, not having video of these occurrences, feels the need to make the victims reenact them. And they are not professional actors or anything (read: they suck). So it comes out pretty over-the-top and stupid.

Anyways, today's show had a dog who located a car crash victim, a cat who was reunited with its owners after 8 years, a dog who saved a baby, and a dog who befriended some prisoners.

The last story is the one that made me pause (or should I say "paws"? HA). It's very sweet and all; the dog gets out one day and, being bored, goes over to the prison to find some playmates. They play with her, so she goes back every day to play with them. The owner calls this the dog's "double life." I say "WTF, she isn't f***ing Hannah Montana" And then the dog's owner talks about Susie the dog's amazing ability to not judge based on those orange jumpsuits:

"I believe that she just sees past that idea of them being criminals and knows that they are very loving toward her and she holds no prejudice."

SHE'S A F***ING DOG. She has no idea that these nice guys who play with her are prisoners or criminals or whatever. Not because she "sees past" it, but because she's a freaking dog. She sees a human with a tennis ball and a nice voice and labels them as "friend." It's not like she's a crusader for criminal acceptance!

That felt good to get out of my system. Now I've got to go. I'm meeting with BB and S to discuss their plans for a rally against universal health care.

BOO!

2009-10-31T19:14:00.004-04:00

Decorations: a

Candy: a

Lights on: a

Trick-or-treaters: Never enough, but a

Cats scared/excited by doorbell ringing: a

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Pier 1 is 1 short of a full deck...

2009-10-24T14:33:00.004-04:00

What is happening to grammar and spelling these days?

(Notice the card/1 pun in the title.)

So I'm getting ready for a small fiesta we're throwing tomorrow, and I stroll on into Pier 1, looking for table runners and such. Little did I know I'd find something much better...

Can you believe it? "No peaking." Let's look up "peak," shall we?

–noun

1.	the pointed top of a mountain or ridge.

2.	a mountain with a pointed summit.

3.	the pointed top of anything.

4.	the highest or most important point or level: the peak of her political career. Etc., etc., etc. Clearly someone mistook peak for its homonym brother, "peek." Don't believe me? Let's take a closer look:

DON'T PEAK. You know, "peak" can also mean "to become weak, thin, and sickly." So, I guess it makes sense. Play cards, don't cheat, and don't become thin, weak, and sickly.

Sure.

Kitty Interlude

2009-10-22T19:40:00.002-04:00

A blog without pictures is like a... metaphor without a point. And I'm kind of facing blogger's block right now. So, without further ado, adorable pictures of BB and S sleeping!

Look at that widdle pink tongue!

At least they weren't bleeding

2009-10-15T22:35:00.004-04:00

So I finally got around to watching last Monday's Gossip Girl today. It was good. Besides the fact that two of the main non-main characters are ugly and terrible actors (I'm talking to you, Scott and Carter), it wasn't too shabby. Lily and Rufus got married, finally. Nate and what's-her-name broke up, finally. Because no one can ever have a long-lasting relationship on this show with a non-major cast member (see: Serena and Cyrus' son what's-his-face, Vanessa and Scott, Blair and that duke guy, etc.). But I did notice something that made me chuckle at the irony of it all:

Those aren't earrings. Her ears are simply crying from the terrible dialogue on this show. Like this: "There are songs that want to make us dance, songs that want to make us sing along, but the best songs are the ones that bring you back to the first time you heard them and, once again, break your heart." Wait, what? Who are you talking about? So we heard a song once and it broke our heart, and now it's playing again. But apparently, it's the "best." I love re-living getting my heart broken, don't you?

Don't Hate Me!

2009-10-11T21:13:00.002-04:00

I'm so embarrassed. Don't blame me, readers. It's not like I asked for this to happen. It just... happened. I have no control over it. I'm trying to fix it but it's just not working...

I have Complicated, by Avril Lavigne, stuck in my head.

I even sang it in the shower.

I'm so ashamed.

Please forgive me.

Eye Candy

2009-10-10T21:30:00.003-04:00

Drooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

I'm watching 27 Dresses right now, and I thought my blog could use a little decoration.

Enjoy the hotness that is James Marsden!

(Bonus Question: Which was he cuter in, 27 Dresses or Enchanted? I'm undecided)

Attention Home Decor/Freebie lovers!

2009-10-09T18:55:00.003-04:00

The ultimate prize! A FREE quart of Glidden paint!

Granted, you have to send in a competitor's paint label (so you have to have some paint already lying around). Luckily, we did, from our recent bathroom redo (which I PROMISE will be revealed as soon as possible!)

So in 8 to 10 weeks (GAH!), I will hopefully receive a quart of Rich Navy! I figured I was more likely to paint something a lovely neutral like navy than some funky magenta (though that's definitely next on my paint list!). I'm thinking of painting a small coffee table we had this is COVERED with my old collection of stickers. It'll be one heck of a DIY!

Hop to it, paint lovers!

T-shirt blunder

2009-10-08T16:23:00.004-04:00

I really hope someone else has noticed this. Otherwise I might be the first case of senility at age 17.

So I was browsing through the clothes at Target, checking out the new Anna Sui line (surprisingly expensive and not super cute). And I came upon this pretty ugly shirt from the collection. Then I noticed something:

Do you see it? No? Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Now, is it just me, or is this shirt noticeable grammatically incorrect? It should be "Best Friend For Life Who Has Lunch And Goes Shopping A Lot" OR "Best Friends For Life Who Have Lunch And Go Shopping A Lot." Right?

And, now that I see it, "Have" is the only word whose first letter isn't capitalized! Were they hoping by not capitalizing it we wouldn't noticed their gigundo error? Nice try, crafty designers. Nice try.

And, on top of the uglyness and the incorrectness, this is also kind of a quote from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, which makes it (and me for knowing the quote) uncool.

London: We can be BFFWLSAGSAL!
Mr. Moseby and Esteban: What?
London: "Best Friends Forever Who Love Spending and Go Shopping A Lot."

So there you have it, readers. A huge typo for sale at your nearest Target. Unless I'm totally insane and this is grammatically correct, in which case I'll crawl into a corner and slip on my Dunce hat.

Do you guys see it?

:(

2009-10-07T18:23:00.002-04:00

So I'm flipping through Tivo, and I have like 12 Office episodes that recorded last night. YAY.

No, wait.

BOO.

THEY LIED.

It's not Office. It's all baseball!

It says "The Office"-- it even says the episode name and description.

But alas.

No Jim.

No Pam.

Not a single Dwight.

Just sports.

Blegh.

Accomplishment of the day

2009-10-05T18:18:00.002-04:00

AOTD:

Correctly naming two actors from a movie for a bonus question on a science quiz.

From a movie I haven't even seen.

Yea, I'm that good.

Hell on Heels

2009-10-03T18:03:00.005-04:00

Dear Self,

Remember this story I'm about to tell you. This isn't the first time I've warned you about wearing heels. And yet you don't listen.

So last night night you had a fancy event to go to. You picked out a cute dress, and decided you wanted to wear those new heels you got. You know, those poorly made $18 heels you found at the clearance rack at DSW? The black ones with the laces and cut out in the middle (that looked kinda sorta like this) with a heel higher than you have ever worn before? You said they were so comfy sitting down. You were right. Plus they were cheap. So you ignored their flaws and impracticality and bought them. And you kind of loved them. So you decided to wear them last night.

Big mistake. You hobbled from the car to the party like a drunk Barbie doll, taking small, calculated steps and holding onto everything in sight for support. You arrive at the party, ready to sit down and nibble on whatever vegetarian options they had.

It's a mingling event.

As in, no chairs.

Hooooly crap.

So you walk carefully, knowing that at some point during the night you will do one or more of the following:

a) Trip and fall

b) Trip, grab something/one for support, and have them topple down with you

c) Trip and break your ankle

d) Trip, fall, hit your head and kill yourself.

All for a pair of really cute shoes... So you gather all the courage you have (after all, despite the problems these shoes cause, they make you look tall and pretty awesome), and suck it up. You mingle, you chat, you eat faux-fancy food, and all the while your feet hurt more and more.

So you take to the habit of teetering on the balls of your feet and rotating your feet around in place, trying to a less-tender spot to rest on.

Then something happens. One of your legs kind of bends a little, and you think you know why. Your heel broke. You investigate. It didn't break. But it did bend so that it will probably be permanently bent, at least when you put pressure on it. You're shocked. Upset. You feel betrayed by your fun, spontaneous purchase.

Luckily the party is winding down. You walk even more slowly out of the venue, grabbing at columns and walls for support. You find a table and sit on it uncouthly, tugging at your heels ferociously. They come off. You moan in delight and pain. You look at your feet. They have red imprinted markings on them where the laces were. You leave and walk outside barefoot.

Never has the grass felt so nice on your bare feet.

So, Self, I hope you've listened intently. Just remember this next time you take those heels out for a spin, or find another cheap thrill at DSW. Neither will last...

Sincerely,

Me/you

PS: You need to learn to walk in heels so you don't look like Bambi taking her first steps. Seriously.

Aha!

2009-09-29T23:05:00.005-04:00

Oh my gosh. I found my dad's doppleganger. And he's famous (the doppleganger, not my dad).

It's John Belushi, the late, great SNL legend!

(Especially in this picture)

Not the most glamorous doppleganger, but he looks so much like my dad I'm surprised I haven't noticed before.

Who's YOUR doppleganger?

Oh boy

2009-09-26T15:05:00.003-04:00

It's a lazy saturday at the RN household. I went upstairs to change from pajamas to "lounge wear." Which includes PJ pants. Oops.

So I change and then realize something: my pants, cardigan, and Tshirt are all navy blue. This is weird, albeit understandable because I love navy blue. Still, it's kind of odd. Then I realize something.

I'm wearing my only pair of BLUE underwear.

I don't know what all of this means, but it can't be good. I'm grabbing the cats and getting into my bomb shelter.

Not quite, but still. Freaky.

Glee vs. Ugly Betty

2009-09-24T18:17:00.003-04:00

Within the past few days, I've noticed a plethora (fancy word count: 1) of striking similarities between two of my favorite shows, Ugly Betty and Glee. Shall we?

1. Both had (or will have) Kristen Chenoweth as a guest star (Betty's dentist/former gleek)

2. Both have (or had) Jamya Mays (Charlie/Emma) as a cast member

3. Both have awesome love-to-hate enemies (Wilhelmina/Sue)

4. Both have delightful gay guys (Mark/Kurt)

5. Both have wonderful fashion inspiration (Most Mode-ers/Rachel and Emma)

And here's the big one:

6. Both have had love triangles in which there's a guy (Henry/Mr. Schue/Finn) who is somehow romantically attached (via marriage, dating, etc) to "meh" girl (Charlie/Terri/Quinn) who he doesn't really love. But he does love the good girl (Betty/Emma/Rachel). But alas! "Meh" girl goes ahead and gets herself knocked up, forcing the guy to ditch the good girl in order to be a good father to his unborn child.

BONUS: In two of these instances, the baby may be the guy's... OR it could be the lover's (Dr. Farkas/Puck). Who knows? (Except we know, and in the former case it's the guys, and in the latter it's the lover's)

PS: I'm not bashing Glee for copying Ugly Betty, or vice versa. Every TV show has it's similarities with other TV shows. There's only so many plot lines you can run without going into crazy and/or inappropriate and/or boring territory.

Happy New Year

2009-09-18T22:24:00.001-04:00

To all my Jewish readers, L'Shanah Tovah!

I don't know about you guys, but the best thing about Rosh Hashanah (and many jewish holdays) is the food. Mmmmm honey cake!