Boo Hoo Betty

(image here)

So I finally got around to watching last Wednesday's episode of Ugly Betty and wow. Someone call the Waaaaaambulance, because Betty just threw herself a pity party!

"What if taking off my braces don't change anything?" "Every time I take a step forward, someone pushes me back" and blahblahblah.

Wait a sec Betty-- do you not have a kick-ass job that millions of girls-- including me-- would die for? Do you not have a loving and supportive family? And have you not had dozens of guys falling head-over-heels for you?

Yes, you have.

And they don't even break up with you! You ditch them! Almost every time! Sure, Matt broke up with you, but then you got back together and split up with mutual agreement.

And this guy who broke your heart? How long were you dating for, like a week? I'm 17, and even I know that that's not long enough for a legit relationship. I know he was hot, but he wanted to keep seeing you. YOU were the one that broke it off.

Moral of the story? Quit b*tching, Betty. I'm not buying it.

30 Rock 4.09 Recap

It's been awhile... I've been lazy... but it's all worth it, because here comes a nice juicy recap of a hilarious episode! (And 3 more to come after this one!)

30 Rock, Season 4, episode 9, "Klaus and Greta"

Jenna "dates" James Franco. Jack leaves a drunk voicemail. Liz outs her cousin. Happy 30 Rock New Year, everyone!

Realer than Liz leaving Cerie drunken messages:

- "Does chewing on a sponge trick your brain's hunger center? Yes!" You learn something new every day. Plus 3

- "Make sure his manager doesn't screw her."

"Too late! Oh wait, which way did you mean that?" I love you, Jenna. Plus 2.

- The protests to the switch-screen after TJ says he thinks he got Angie pregnant... perfection. Plus 5.

- Liz is "a frequent leaver of drunk messages" Plus 4 for the callback to "Episode 210" and her night of drunken co-op board calls.

- "I've lemoned this situation with Nancy!" Yay, new 30 Rock word!

Lemon (v.): to mess up irrevocably. Plus 5.

- James Franco kinda weirds me out. At first this was going to be a minus, but I realized he's supposed to weird me out. So plus 2.

- Liz's cousin is hot. Plus 4, because we ladies (ok, we teens. I guess he's kind of young for most viewers) haven't had such eye candy on 30 Rock since Jon Hamm left.

- "Nope, that's a serial killer, just get a cab." Living in NY allows people to say that so matter-of-fact-ly. Plus 1.

- Jonathan vs. Kenneth. I sense some very comedic potential in this possible rivalry. Plus 2.

- Kenneth vs. Computer. An even more epic rivalry. Plus 4.

- Poor Jenna. She is just a walking tragedy, isn't she? No points, just pity.

- Liz has a cardigan with "fuzzy buttons" that she's "afraid to wear." Which makes sense because I'm afraid to see it. BOOM! Roasted. Plus 2.

- "Sir, I don't mean to swear, but I am irritated right now." Kenneth, I love you. Plus 3.

- I'm not a fan of Nancy, but I am a fan of how lovesick Jack is. So sweet! Plus 6.

- Someone needs to make some more official rules for the "Today Show Drinking Game." It sounds fun! Plus 4.

- I swear to God, right before Liz asked Jenna "Why are you wearing a man's shirt and no pants?" I thought, "Why is Jenna wearing a Liz-like shirt?" She does wear a lot of plaid... plus 2.

- Kenneth is seen drinking a juice box. Plus 1.

- The code spells Klaus!! Did not see that one coming. Seriously, good twist! Plus 3.

- "You should buy a leather jacket!" The enthusiasm with which Kenneth says this sentence is overwhelming and perfectly Kenneth. Plus 2.

- "You're being such a non-pillow right now!" = my new favorite insult. Plus 3.

- When Jack's on the call, Kenneth takes Cerie's hand, a la the same way he did with Jonathan earlier on. Cerie doesn't take her hand away right away! Is anyone else a Cenneth/Kerie shipper? They'd be so cute together... plus 3.

- Oh Liz Lemon. You never fail to amaze me with your ridiculousness. Question: Is having a three-way with a celebrity and a pillow an all-time low or all-time high? Either way, plus 5.

Total: 66

Faker than Jenna and James's relationship:

- That Blossom reference went right over my head so minus 1.

- On New Years Jonathan met his birth parents... I kind of want to feel bad because Jack doesn't care about poor Jonathan... but I don't really care either. Minus 2.

- Kumiko reminds me of my Wii nemesis, Fumiko. Have you ever played tennis against her? That Mii is a b*tch. Minus 1.

- Liz's hot cousin only served to remind me that all hot guys are gay... minus 3.

- Did Kenneth really step through that coat hanger? That must've been fake... right? Minus 2.

- "And it gets even better. I just had a burrito." Surprisingly, I didn't find this random TJ quip funny. It wasn't ridiculous enough. Minus 2.

- "Having ice-cold diarrhea from drinking Jamba Juice..." Ew. Just... ew. And how? Minus 4.

- Super-religious Kenneth has seen or read The Da Vinci Code? Minus 6.

- I understand that Liz is protective of her cousin, but why is she trying to bore him to death with "making nachos and seeing who can fall asleep the earliest?" Minus 5.

- Of course I looked up to see if Kenneth was right when he said typing in "Nancy's Secrets" into Google gives you "a store that sells wig extensions." He wasn't. These guys noticed also. Minus 6.

- Kenneth deleted the message. He has a backbone? Minus 1.

- Tracy's odd "Is every woman someone's daughter?"realization just didn't work for me. Minus 3.

- Liz's mom-esque speech to Randy reminds me... what happened to the whole adoption plot line? That was dropped like Ugly Betty. (That's both a dig at UB's plot holes and it's recent cancellation. Which I'm sad about, but I couldn't resist the joke.) Minus 5.

Total: 41

This was, no contest, a very real, very funny episode of 30 Rock. The next recap should be up in a day or two!

Ugly Betty= Glee?

I've recently noticed the similarities between Glee and Ugly Betty:

- both are perky, bright, quirky, upbeat

- both are hour-long soap opera/telenovela/dramedy mixes

Now the characters:

Kurt= Mark/Justin: Somewhat stereotypical gay guys (OK, Justin said he isn't gay... but c'mon). Love fashion, singing, and dancing.

Mercedes= Christina: This one's a bit of a stretch. Both offer advice. That's about it.

Terri= Charlie: Manipulative, clingy, "pregnant" beeyotches, succumbing to sinister standards in order to keep their man (Will/Henry) from leaving

Will= Daniel: The man in charge. Sometimes clueless, sometimes misguided, but generally has a heart of gold.

Rachel= Betty: The heroine. Plucky and confident. Don't care what other people think of them. Both are very career-driven.

Puck= Santos/Bobby: The "bad boy." All of them got a girl pregnant.

Finn= Henry/Matt: The "good guy." All stay with their accidentally-pregnant girlfriends (even though Matt's was a false alarm). Are in love with the heroine.

Sue= Wilhelmina: Scheming, generally evil, powerful women trying to bring down man in charge (Will/Daniel)

Cheerleaders= Mode girls: Mean, catty, popular, skinny.

Any other ideas?

Glee vs. Ugly Betty

Within the past few days, I've noticed a plethora (fancy word count: 1) of striking similarities between two of my favorite shows, Ugly Betty and Glee. Shall we?

1. Both had (or will have) Kristen Chenoweth as a guest star (Betty's dentist/former gleek)

2. Both have (or had) Jamya Mays (Charlie/Emma) as a cast member

3. Both have awesome love-to-hate enemies (Wilhelmina/Sue)

4. Both have delightful gay guys (Mark/Kurt)

5. Both have wonderful fashion inspiration (Most Mode-ers/Rachel and Emma)

And here's the big one:

6. Both have had love triangles in which there's a guy (Henry/Mr. Schue/Finn) who is somehow romantically attached (via marriage, dating, etc) to "meh" girl (Charlie/Terri/Quinn) who he doesn't really love. But he does love the good girl (Betty/Emma/Rachel). But alas! "Meh" girl goes ahead and gets herself knocked up, forcing the guy to ditch the good girl in order to be a good father to his unborn child.

BONUS: In two of these instances, the baby may be the guy's... OR it could be the lover's (Dr. Farkas/Puck). Who knows? (Except we know, and in the former case it's the guys, and in the latter it's the lover's)

PS: I'm not bashing Glee for copying Ugly Betty, or vice versa. Every TV show has it's similarities with other TV shows. There's only so many plot lines you can run without going into crazy and/or inappropriate and/or boring territory.

In the Ugly Betty Writers' Room...

This is what happened to decide on the Molly/Connor plotline:

Writer1: Ok, so Daniel can't be the "player" guy forever. We need to start softening him up. 
Writer2: Didn't we do that with his fiance, Sofia?
Writer3: Yea, but then he went back into his wild boy ways, so that didn't count.
Writer2: Didn't that happen again with DJ, his son?
Writer1: Maybe, but once he figured out it wasn't his son, Daniel wasn't really grounded anymore. Plus that was like earlier this season. A new twist is long overdue.
Writer3: Ooh! Idea! How 'bout we get him married?
Writer2: Nah, we can't afford to add another person on this show, especially after we dumped Chris Gorham and Freddy Rodriguez and Rebecca Romijn and David Blue...
Writer1: Ok, we get it, we get it. But that was all to add "heart" to the show, right? AHA! I got it! What better way to add heart to the show than to have Daniel get married to a lady--
Writer3: We've already told you, that won't work becau--
Writer1: --who has cancer and is dying?
*pause*
Writers2&3: Ohhhhhh.
Writer2: Perfect! Write it up.
Writer3: Wait. But that's not complicated enough. Have her already be engaged...
Writer1: ... to a man who Wilhemina has the hots for! And have him work at Mode!
Writer3: Perfect! Ooh! And then have him steal all of Mode's money.
Writers2&1: BINGO!
*the writers all high-five each other*
END

(Taken from a post that I wrote for TPF. Though you'd enjoy it. And if any real Ugly Betty writers are reading this, don't be offended. Oh and give me a job. Kthanks.)

I got it!

Aha! I figured it out. I figured out what they do on TV dramas when they want to add some, well, drama.

Wanna know what it is?

**SPOILERS FOR TONIGHT'S NEW EPISODE OF THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER**

They kill off the old, rich, fighting-with-his-children, divorced-then-remarried father/husband!

You want proof, don't you?

Ugly Betty was the first of the three examples. Bradford Meade: Old (check!), super rich (check!), constantly fighting with Daniel (check!), almost remarried-- died at the altar (almost check!)

Then came Gossip Girl and the car-crash death of Bart Bass: Fairly old (fairly check!), super rich (super check!), constantly fighting with Chuck (check!), divorced and newly remarried (check!). 

Finally, tonight brought the The Secret Life of the American Teenager death of Marshall Bowman (via plane crash): Fairly old (check!), kinda rich (kinda check!), was in a fight with Grace when he died (mediocre check!), divorced and remarried (check!)

I would've thought their means of dying would've been similar, but not really. Ah well. A theory can only be so accurate.

Any other TV drama examples of the rich old mean husband/dad dying? Comment below!

I noticed something...

The majority of shows that I watch (the majority in this case being Ugly Betty, The Office, and 30 Rock) have at least this one thing in common:

At the beginning of the series, the female protagonist always has a lousy long-term boyfriend. Am I right or am I right?

Pam and (well, fiance) Roy (total dbag) from The Office

Betty and Walter (how annoying was he?) from Ugly Betty

Liz and (though they weren't together in the pilot) Dennis (what a tool!) from 30 Rock.

But the real question is WHY do writers do this? It may be to give the viewers a template of "Look how bad this guy is..." and then later, when they dump him and get a new boyfriend, "Look how far she's come!" Or maybe it's because it adds instant plot lines when a show is getting started.  

Any ideas? Sound off in the comments!