Oh my gossip-lovin' god

So I'm tired and I decide to take a five-minute power nap before I shower when I hear some celebrity gossip show on the TV my mom's watching in the other room. They're discussing, what else, but Michael Jackson. Ok, whatever, I hear that every day. So I close my eyes and rest my weary head on the cool, soft leather of my sofa. 

Then I hear this.

"Plus, why his mother was shopping at Target."

Either this is very morbid product placement, or they really have gone off the deep end. Michael Jackson was an icon and all, but NO ONE CARES WHAT HIS MOM BOUGHT AT TARGET!

And thus I ruined my power-nap for the sake of pointing out the ridiculousness of celebrity gossip. Which everyone already knows is ridiculous.

Ugh. Shower time.

Gotcha!

I'm way too excited about this. As per my before-bed tradition of watching an episode or 2 of 30 Rock, I was, well, watching an episode of 30 Rock. AND GUESS WHAT I FOUND?Yes, that is a split-second screencap of Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) LOOKING AT THE CAMERA! There's a flaw in Fey's acting! She's not a god after all!  It's good to know that even an actress as amazing as Tina Fey messes up (albeit barely noticeably) once in a while. Unless she was supposed to look into the camera.... oh god...

This rare moment of imperfection is located in episode 15 of season 3, called "The Bubble," if you want to watch the moment for yourself. It's pretty life-changing.

Did You Know (according to my parents)...

That TV stations pre-make obituary specials for famous people JUST IN CASE they die suddenly? I was so confused when I heard that NBC had procured  post-mortem (Latin, beeyotches!)  Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson (R.I.P. to both) tributes. And then my parents told me that they make them ahead of time.

I wonder if somewhere out there, every celebrity has an obituary tape just waiting to be popped into the TV schedule if need be. And wouldn't they have to update it pretty frequently? I wonder if that's a job in of itself... if anyone out there reading is or knows of a person who is a celebrity obituary updater, let me know. 'Cause that's one heck of a random job!

I wonder if they just have them for older celebrities or super famous ones. Like do they have one for... Hilary Duff (first name that came to mind)? I bet they're more likely to have one for Betty White. Well, now that I think of it, that's kind of obvious. Do you think they have one for semi-old celebrities, like Oprah or something? After all, she is around the same age as Michael Jackson was. 

Of course I am reminded of 30 Rock, in that episode where Jack decides that pretending Jenna's dead will up her career (and her new Jackie Jormp-Jomp movie), so they ask Pete if they can put on a memorial show for her and he says "We actually already have an obituary reel for Jenna. We put it together after she cheated on that mobster." Interesting... (and yes, I can find a TV quote fitting of ANY subject)

PS: I confess, I had to look up that latin phrase. But it sounds so good! I also had to look up if Betty White was still alive-- just in case I forgot and upset some people. And I had to look up Pete's exact quote. The internet is a wondrous thing.

I got it!

Aha! I figured it out. I figured out what they do on TV dramas when they want to add some, well, drama.

Wanna know what it is?

**SPOILERS FOR TONIGHT'S NEW EPISODE OF THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER**

They kill off the old, rich, fighting-with-his-children, divorced-then-remarried father/husband!

You want proof, don't you?

Ugly Betty was the first of the three examples. Bradford Meade: Old (check!), super rich (check!), constantly fighting with Daniel (check!), almost remarried-- died at the altar (almost check!)

Then came Gossip Girl and the car-crash death of Bart Bass: Fairly old (fairly check!), super rich (super check!), constantly fighting with Chuck (check!), divorced and newly remarried (check!). 

Finally, tonight brought the The Secret Life of the American Teenager death of Marshall Bowman (via plane crash): Fairly old (check!), kinda rich (kinda check!), was in a fight with Grace when he died (mediocre check!), divorced and remarried (check!)

I would've thought their means of dying would've been similar, but not really. Ah well. A theory can only be so accurate.

Any other TV drama examples of the rich old mean husband/dad dying? Comment below!

Dear Internet.

I want to go to there.

That is all.

I noticed something...

The majority of shows that I watch (the majority in this case being Ugly Betty, The Office, and 30 Rock) have at least this one thing in common:

At the beginning of the series, the female protagonist always has a lousy long-term boyfriend. Am I right or am I right?

Pam and (well, fiance) Roy (total dbag) from The Office

Betty and Walter (how annoying was he?) from Ugly Betty

Liz and (though they weren't together in the pilot) Dennis (what a tool!) from 30 Rock.

But the real question is WHY do writers do this? It may be to give the viewers a template of "Look how bad this guy is..." and then later, when they dump him and get a new boyfriend, "Look how far she's come!" Or maybe it's because it adds instant plot lines when a show is getting started.  

Any ideas? Sound off in the comments!

The Enchanting Powers of a Really Cute On Sale Dress

(Why did I put that in all capitals? It kind of looks like a book title... for an AWESOME book, no doubt)

It keeps taunting me. I try to move past it, admiring the polka-dot bathing suit bottoms and boring T-shirts, but who am I kidding? I scroll back up to it, just to stare. It's so pretty. Well of course it's pretty, it's on a mannequin. Mannequins are built to make dresses look pretty.

But it's ON SALE. Ah, there's the kicker. It's on sale. It's less than half the original price. It's ONLY $25! No, wait! It's even less: $24.99! YES! Wait... NO! Don't do it! Is it even in your size? OMG IT IS.

Shopping Me: It's on sale! It's super cheap! It's cute. ADD TO CART!

Smart Me: But it won't look good on you! It's strapless and you never look good in strapless stuff. Plus you'd have to buy a strapless bra.

Shopping Me: But it has a sash that can be used as straps! And I've been wanting to buy a strapless bra forever.

Smart Me: Ok that second part is true, but the first isn't. The sash can be "worn around the neck," as in a scarf. Or at least I think that's what it means... it's vague. Anyways, it's not even a dress-- it's a "cover-up dress." So it'll be too lightweight and see-through.

Shopping Me: Yes but I've also wanted to get a slip since forever, right? And if I get it in mushroom, it wont be see-through. Beat that!

Smart Me: But you don't really like the mushroom color, do you? 

Shopping Me: It's not... that bad.

Smart Me: See? Now slowly move the cursor to the "delete tab" button. Good. Now why don't we check out some not-on-sale, affordable dresses at--

Shopping Me: SCREW YOU I'M BUYING IT!

Hmmm....

I've just deleted two burgeoning blog posts because I realized they were likely to induce sleep. It's a lot harder than I thought to find enough interesting morsels from my day to cook up a post each day.

Ok, Joey just called Chandler "Chan" on Friends. Has that ever happened before? I've seen every single episode of Friends multiple times and I feel like Joey has never called Chandler that... doesnY000000000000 YYYYYYYY56w22222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222222b7lop90N 2HYYYYY678 t he usually call Chandler "Chandler"? He doesn't really have a nickname, does he?1`bv W345 qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

Whoops! That was Squeak, being all cute and prancing all over my keyboard. She loves doing that. Maybe she was trying to remind me of another Friends episode where Joey says "Chan"? I suppose we'll never know...

Oh, and she also decided that my screen should be colorly inverted. You know, where the white areas are black and every color is it's complimentary color? So my screen now is a lovely mix of black, white, and an odd light orange. Squeak just loooves messing with my head (and computer).

Moral of this blog post: I NEED A LIFE.