Soulmates

After watching The Royal Tenenbaums for the first time, I noticed something...



Chas Tenenbaum and Sue Sylvester are soulmates... well, at least their tracksuits are. And do formal occasions get in the way of their tracksuit wearing? OF COURSE NOT.

Here's Chas, modeling the funereal black tracksuit:

And Sue, donning the tracksuit wedding dress-- perfect for marrying yourself!

To sum up...
Awesome people wear tracksuits. All. the. time.

(pictures here, here, here, and here)

Deathly Hallows WOW

So I, like the rest of the world, went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. And I just have to do a huge thought dump on you, because I just need to write them down. Enjoy:

- I wish the Dursley's got a better goodbye. Frankly, they could've taken away that pointless scene of Ron standing outside the burrow and added some kind of book-like goodbye.

- Bellatrix is kind of freaking awesome. She's just totally insane and it rocks.

- The 7 Potters scene was awesome, though the introductions were kind of awkward. "Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a Weasley, but you should be able to tell that because I have red hair. See these scars on my face? Greyback did that. Who's Greyback? Ah, never mind."

- And WTF Moody? Cutting Tonks off mid-announcement? I don't know how they're going to finagle this because **SPOILER FOR PART 2** they've cast a 19-years-later Teddy, so we know he has to exist. But basically the scene where the next movie should open is the scene when Lupin announces his birth. I can see it now...

(Knock on door)

BILL: Oh gosh, who could it be?

(Opens door, LUPIN comes in)

LUPIN: Tonks had the baby!!

EVERYONE: WTF?

HARRY: Tonks was pregnant?

LUPIN: Oh yea, did I forget to tell you guys? We were going to tell you at Privet drive, but Moody interrupted us.

HERMIONE: What about at the Burrow?

LUPIN: Well, Moody was dead, so that didn't quite seem the right time. Then the wedding, and we didn't want to steal Bill and Fleur's thunder.

BILL: Oh, I guess that makes sense.

LUPIN: Yep. Well, it's a boy. We've named him Ted, after Dora's father.

HARRY: Never met him.

LUPIN: You didn't? You were supposed to go there after Privet drive but... change of plans, I guess. He was killed.

FLEUR: Oh. sorry.

LUPIN: It's okay. Hey Harry, wanna be godfather?

HARRY: Uh, sure, I guess. Just don't die, okay? (laughs)

LUPIN: Haha, I'll try not to!

AND SCENE *bows*

- The wedding scene was so short! I could've used waaay more of it.

- And is it just me or does Lupin have a habit of grabbing Harry or yelling at him to stop? Think about it... Order of the Phoenix, after Sirius dies (no yelling this time); Half Blood Prince, at the Burrow (Pretty sure he says "Harry, don't!"); and now after 7 Potters with the grindylow question, and also at the wedding. Lupin, no need to worry about the boy that LIVED. Better off worrying about yourself, because, well...

- True story: I teared up at Hedwig and Dobby's deaths, while when reading them I didn't. Especially Hedwig's-- I knew what was coming but OMG NO it was so sad.

- I'm interested to see some deleted scenes from this movie. I saw a behind the scenes clip of when they are in the Burrow surrounding George and Harry talks about trusting everyone in the room or something, but it wasn't in the movie.

- Every time Harry let the snitch out and then grabbed it to put away (happened maybe 3 or 4 times), some dude yelled out "GRYFFINDOR WINS!" The only significant heckle in the movie, which surprised me, seeing as I saw it at midnight with a bunch of drunk college students.

- The audience cheered when Dobby came on screen. I didn't know he was popular-- probably just in preparation for what's to come.

- The ministry scene was my favorite, by far. Ron getting into his role as Cattermole ("this'll be something to tell the kids!") and Harry's counterpart just being so... awkward, in a hilarious way.

- Oh, Harry. Hermione mentions that they should've polyjuiced themselves for Godric's Hollow and Harry's all "No. This is where I was born." Oh Harry, you're so logical. I forgot that when you visit your birthplace, you're automatically protected from harm and recognition. HARRY U SO STUPID.

- I hate the Bathilda scene in the books, and same with the movie. Not because it was poorly done, but because it's so friggin CREEPY and scary! There were a lot of nervous/anticipatory groans as Bathilda came on screen. I just kept watching through my fingers, waiting for her to turn into Nagini, and thankfully when she did, it wasn't as gruesome as the books. But WHY oh WHY did Hermione and Harry wait for a good 3 seconds in complete silence and stillness before Nagini attacked them a second time (and gave me a heart attack). It was like "I dunno, let's wait to apparate till we see the snake again. I wanna say goodbye." WTF?

- The audience (including me) laughed when Ron was explaining how the deluminator brought him back... this scene isn't supposed to be funny!

- Emma Waston rocked the torture scene.

- Why the heck were Hermione and Ron just standing there watching while Dobby died in Harry's arms? Harry was totally like "WTF you guys, get some dittany or something, we're WIZARDS for christ's sake!"

- Speaking of Dobby, I couldn't hear what he said as he was dying (probably too many people wailing preemptively), but I don't think I liked it. Wish they would've stuck with him just saying "Harry... Potter..." and dying.

- Again speaking of Dobby, where was his gravestone?? I really think they should have shown "Here lies Dobby, a free elf." It was so poignant in the books.

- I totally wanted someone to shout "KISS!" as Voldy faced Dumbledore. That's the one time in the movie I wish there was an annoying heckler!

- It was only after seeing the movie that I realized that 90% of the dialogue in the movie does not come from the books. And you know what? I don't really mind. I mean, it's weird to think about, but the point is if I didn't even notice that when I was watching the movie, then that's a good sign.

Overall, awesome movie, loved it (couldn't you tell?) and I can't wait for July!

What did you guys think of the movie? Likes? Dislikes? WTFs? Tell me!

(image from here)

Weekend Update secret-- revealed!

You know how you see everyone on Weekend Update only from the waist-up? Well, Jason Sudeikis (as George W Bush) is business on the top, casual on the bottom:

Unless George W really has embraced casual friday (or saturday, in this case) and decided the new look was coat and tie and exercise shorts... It makes a lot of sense here though-- especially if he has a quick change after his appearance-- but it's funny nonetheless and confirms those "Do news reporters really wear pants?" suspicions. Has anyone else noticed this on SNL before?

I wonder if Seth Meyers and all Weekend Update guests do this-- heck, I wonder if Brian Williams and Ann Curry do it!

(image via hulu.com)

Did you know...

(you probably didn't, because it's useless, but I'll tell you anyway)..

... that SNL's intro announces the cast in alphabetical order?

Yep. By last name. Just realized it.

So there's your new bit of knowledge for today. You can stop looking for something new to learn now. Your quota has been filled. Your welcome.

Yet Again

I'm going to start this post the way I have started many a post in the past.

(No, not by explaining how I'm going to start the post)

By saying I'm sorry! I've been so busy getting ready to leave for college that my little blog has been malnourished. But, in an effort to shake the "dead-beat blog parent" title, I'm back! With an adorable and funny picture of a keety:

All better, right?

PS- I try to coax my readers to forgive me with cute kitty picture a lot, don't I?

(image from one of my daily haunts, Cute Overload!)

Who else thinks...

--nay, knows!-- Brad Pitt looks 1000x hotter without his beard. Without ANY beard-- well-groomed or otherwise.

Proof?

Before:

After:

Thank you, Brad, for ridding yourself of the de-sexy-ifier (the beard).

(pictures from here and here)

This is sad.

So the other day I just had the most brilliant idea for a blog post. Ok, maybe not brilliant, but it's my retelling so I can fudge the facts. Anyway, the post in question centers around one perfect, awesome, gorgeous item of clothing.

Only problem?

I have searched all my normal shopping sites (J.Crew, Anthro, UO, etc.,etc.) and I can't find a fittingly gorgeous piece. Crazy, right? What is it with the selection nowadays, stores? Just because it's in between clothing seasons, y'all feel like you can slack off? Nuh-uh. Style waits for NO ONE.

But my incredibly witty and fun blog post will have to wait. Until I can find that one dress, shirt, or skirt that calls to me.

So you're stuck with this post for now. Boo.

An Emmy-winning Revelation

As I sat mere minutes ago, watching the much-anticipated and much-dreaded season finale of Modern Family, I came to an idea so simple, so obvious, and so unoriginal that I can't believe I haven't espoused it yet:

Modern Family should have one the "Best Comedy" Emmy over Glee.

And before you use your keyboard to fire verbal bullets at me, keep in mind that I'm a Gleek. A huge one. I've bought both of their CDs and watch religiously and enthusiastically every week. I love Glee.

But Modern Family is just something so unique, so special, that the viewer (or at least I) feels honored just to watch it. As I watched perfectionist Claire attempt to fix that step that Phil promised many times to fix but never did, I laughed and I empathized. I groaned in embarrassment and gleeful anticipation when Phil thought that Claire saw the kiss. And I nearly DIED laughing when Phil asked Kobe Bryant, "Do you like being a basketball player?" DIED. And when they all gathered together for that group photo, splattering each other with mud as a confused photographer looked on, I felt that this is a family more real and honest than on any other sitcom-- or reality show, for that matter.

Glee is an enchanting and bewildering cocktail of theatrics and drama, singing and dancing, zaniness and emotion. But Modern Family is a subtle and nuanced blend of comedy and poignancy, wit and heart, reality and intricacy. Glee is wonderful, but Modern Family's mix of spot-on actors, intricately interwoven plots, and a touch of sweetness makes the show perfection.

Agree? Disagree? Sound off below.

Am I Paranoid?

Well, yes, but I guess that's not the right question.

I've had a feeling recently that two of my beloved comics are stepping down from their reporting positions. Who, you ask?

Seth Meyers and Joel McHale.

Why, you ask?

I'm afraid that Meyers will soon be usurped by SNL writer/Girl Scout cookie commentator in last night's episode, John Mulaney. As soon as he came on screen, for some reason, I immediately thought, "Oh no, they're testing him out so he can replace Seth!"

Yes, I told you I'm paranoid.

And with McHale's recent Community fame and the addition of Web Soup-- perhaps a "testing ground" for host Chris Hardwick -- Hardwick could easily be being trained to take over.

Is anyone else worried about a sudden upheaval of comic geniuses in charged of ladling us our pop culture news? Sound off below.

Boo Hoo Betty

(image here)

So I finally got around to watching last Wednesday's episode of Ugly Betty and wow. Someone call the Waaaaaambulance, because Betty just threw herself a pity party!

"What if taking off my braces don't change anything?" "Every time I take a step forward, someone pushes me back" and blahblahblah.

Wait a sec Betty-- do you not have a kick-ass job that millions of girls-- including me-- would die for? Do you not have a loving and supportive family? And have you not had dozens of guys falling head-over-heels for you?

Yes, you have.

And they don't even break up with you! You ditch them! Almost every time! Sure, Matt broke up with you, but then you got back together and split up with mutual agreement.

And this guy who broke your heart? How long were you dating for, like a week? I'm 17, and even I know that that's not long enough for a legit relationship. I know he was hot, but he wanted to keep seeing you. YOU were the one that broke it off.

Moral of the story? Quit b*tching, Betty. I'm not buying it.

Coincidence? ...Maybe

Did this NBC Thursday night comedy line-up remind anyone else of Arrested Development? Here are the clues-

- We got a visit from Starla the Business Model (and Quincy-lover) and the un-named Blue Man Group assistant (Andy Samberg) via Parks and Recreation.

- Community gave us none other than BUSTER BLUTH! Acting just a bit Buster-y.

- On 30 Rock, Kenneth gave us this gem:

"My cousin in Atlanta is a business model. She holds up staplers for catalogs."

Remind you of anyone? Oh, I don't know, maybe Gob's "Oh, I have a business model" mess up? If only Devon had been at Geiss's funeral, then it would've been a perfect storm of Arrested Development memories!

Anyone think this was on purpose? Any other moments that reminded you of the beloved Bluths? Comment!

How to get really depressed

Instructions:

1. Go online.

2. Go to an online store that's slightly above your price level, but the sale section is do-able (try J.Crew, Revolve, Anthropologie, etc.).

3. Look through the sale section. Spy a cute, cheap skirt/shirt/dress.

4. Examine it further. Realize it's the only piece of clothing you ever want. Realize you cannot live without it.

5. Check what sizes it's available in.

6. Cry

7. Briefly wish you were a size large so you could buy it.

8. Get depressed.

Tada!

Liz's New Boy Toy?

So last night's episode of 30 Rock, featuring all of Liz's exes, got me thinking: Who should guest star as Liz's new beau? She's got to get one sooner or later, right?

And then it hit me.

The perfect guy.

Funny.

Handsome.

Quirky.

Age-appropriate (one year older than Tina).

Want to guess?

Hint: It has to do with one of my recent obsessions.

Any ideas?

Give up?

Ok, here it is:

Jason Bateman.

BAM!

He's hilarious but can also play the straight man. His character can be very Floyd-esque (or they could just bring back Floyd for good... no complaints there).

Ooh! But his character has a secret: he's Devon Banks's brother! TWIST! And a chance to see Bateman and Arnett as brothers on screen... which all Arrested Development fans know creates a burst of comedic amazingness.

So get on it, 30 Rock writers!

Any other suggestions for Liz's new BF? Tell me in the comments!

A Glee Realization

Just watched the Glee finale "Sectionals" (or was it a mid-season finale?) on Hulu. While watching the "My Life Would Suck without You" number, I realized something. Actually, at first I just thought the choreography was really mismatched. But THEN I realized that they were doing a medley of all the dances they've done that season! There was hairography from "Hair," some wheelchair bouncing from "Proud Mary," and even some stuff from the non-teacher-approved "Push It."

Don't believe me? Have a look for yourself:

Was this completely obvious and I was totally clueless? Or is this a revelation for you too?

The One Thing No One Else Has

If you read this blog, you know I have many pet peeves. Here's one, courtesy of the played-waaay-too-often promo for some movie or TV show or something. If you want, skip to the :16 mark.

"We can give her the one thing nobody else [ever] has; we can love her." [I swear they say "ever" on the TV version, which is slightly different].

Really? No one else has love? Seriously? Nobody else in the entire town, continent, or world has love. I just can't even fathom how many hard-core death metal albums the writers had to listen to to come up with this depressing statement.

And shouldn't it be "We can give her the one thing nobody else has: love"? The original way isn't technically wrong, it just sounds... sloppy. C'mon, writers. I know you're depressed about maybe having graduated Cum Laude from Harvard or something, and now you having a job writing for some crappy CW show, but have just an ounce of forethought. The commercial is on every single commercial break on The CW, and you couldn't wrestle out any somewhat meaningful and/or sensical dialogue to entice viewers?

C'mon.

Get it together.

PS: Am I the only one who thinks the mom looks the same age as the daughter?

TV Connection: Blonde Bombshells

I'm finding so many TV connections these days, I should just start my own TV show that's just cliché after cliché after cliché. It will revolve around a suave, sarcastic 30-year old male and his friends, Sassy Black Woman, Lovable Geek, Stupid Womanizer, and Normal Girl, who he constantly flirts with.

Anyways, back to my most recent tv connection. This one is between The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Glee, and The Office. A blonde super-religious woman who doesn't believe in premarital sex (Grace/Quinn/Angela) has sex and suffers through the consequences (father's death/pregnancy/dumped by fiance and lover)

BONUS: Two of these people (Quinn/Angela) cheated on their good-hearted but naive boyfriends (Finn/Andy) with their true loves (Puck/Dwight).

EXTRA BONUS: Two of these people (Grace/Quinn) were cheerleaders. And wore their uniforms to school like everyday. Seriously, do they have five of the same cheerleading dress, do they do their laundry every night, or are those dresses reeaallly dirty?

Ah well. Any other examples from other shows? I think this one is a pretty good one!

Congrats and a Pet Peeve

Just wanted to wish a big ol' congratulations to John and Sherry of Young House Love, my favorite home decor blog, on their soon-to-be baby! You guys are going to be awesome parents and the baby is going to be adorable (and a home decor genius!)! Plus the nursery is going to be AH. MAZING.

And, as most things tend to do, this caused my mind to wander. And I realized one of my pet peeves (which Jon and Sherry have not used, btw). The phrase "We're pregnant" is just weird to me. I know it's meant to include the father in the festivities, but couldn't you just say "We're having a baby" or "We're going to be parents"? I don't mind if the woman says "I'm pregnant" or the man says "She's pregnant." It's just the whole "we" thing that makes me thing of Thomas Beatie and sea horses...

Anyone else feel the same way?

A Letter to Teen Vogue

Dear Teen Vogue,

I used to love you. Note the "used to." I just got your most recent issue and am over half way through it and I must say our love affair is officially over. When we started, you represented the quintessence of cool, a delicious taste of what I could and might be someday. But as I collected issues, I realized that I could never be one of those stylish girls gracing your pages. For any "normal" girl you showcase has a quasi-famous or super-rich parent. You may as well rename your magazine "Rich, Quasi-Famous Teen Vogue." You cater to the Manhattan socialites who are invited to events because of their famous artist father or who start a fashion line just because they have the money, even if they lack the talent.

What's more, you're pretentious. I'm sorry to be so rude, but "to plainness honor's bound when Majesty falls to folly" (yes, I just quoted King Lear. I can be pretentious too, so SUCK IT). You showcase up-and-comers, letting your "discoveries" parade around your magazine like trophies to be harvested when they land their first big gig. News flash: no one cares about two-movies-to-her-name Lily Collins. Why do you do this? I doubt it's because you can't get big names for your magazine... so is it because you actually think we care? Or do you just want the satisfaction of smirking and yelling "I told you so" when Lily lands her first big role?

Another thing: why are your photo-shoots so similar and crappy? Your photo-shoots used to be so whimsical and different, while keeping a strong footing in reality. Now it's all neon and chunky necklaces on top of a gorgeous dress that 90% of teenagers can't afford. And even when you advertise something as "budget-friendly," it's still $70 for a shirt. Seriously? Go outside and ask the first ten teens you see how much they're able to spend on a shirt. Try not to pass out when they say "$40 or lower."

I'm just saying, please, get off your high horse and come back down to the world of reality. Otherwise, future preteens wont look to you for their sartorial fantasies as I did long ago.

Sincerely,

Random Nobody

Mind. Blown.

Ok, so if you've watched the last episode of The Office then you know that

***SPOILER ALERT FOR PREVIOUS EP***

Michael is dating Pam's mom. So I'm watching "Chair Model," an episode from last season, and everyone has to write down someone to set Michael up with, because Michael is... well, desperate and pathetic. Anyway, Jim is writing someone down, and the convo goes like this:

Pam: Who are you putting down?

Jim: Oh, you don't know her.

Pam: Who is it?

Jim: You're mom.

Pam: [laughs] Yea, whatever.

Of course Jim is joking, but STILL! Major, most likely unplanned foreshadowing!

And if it was planned, the writers of The Office have proven themselves even more amazing than I previously thought.

Animal Miracles

So it's a Lazy Sunday and my Tivo is virtually empty. So I see what the always-misguided Tivo suggestions has left me, and it's so random. Some show called Animal Miracles, when I haven't even turned to Animal Planet in years. But it's the best of what I have, so I put it on as background noise.

It has stories of these miraculous animals doing miraculous things. Heartwarming and all, but the show itself, not having video of these occurrences, feels the need to make the victims reenact them. And they are not professional actors or anything (read: they suck). So it comes out pretty over-the-top and stupid.

Anyways, today's show had a dog who located a car crash victim, a cat who was reunited with its owners after 8 years, a dog who saved a baby, and a dog who befriended some prisoners.

The last story is the one that made me pause (or should I say "paws"? HA). It's very sweet and all; the dog gets out one day and, being bored, goes over to the prison to find some playmates. They play with her, so she goes back every day to play with them. The owner calls this the dog's "double life." I say "WTF, she isn't f***ing Hannah Montana" And then the dog's owner talks about Susie the dog's amazing ability to not judge based on those orange jumpsuits:

"I believe that she just sees past that idea of them being criminals and knows that they are very loving toward her and she holds no prejudice."

SHE'S A F***ING DOG. She has no idea that these nice guys who play with her are prisoners or criminals or whatever. Not because she "sees past" it, but because she's a freaking dog. She sees a human with a tennis ball and a nice voice and labels them as "friend." It's not like she's a crusader for criminal acceptance!

That felt good to get out of my system. Now I've got to go. I'm meeting with BB and S to discuss their plans for a rally against universal health care.