Dear Internet.

I'm really craving a Crumbs red velvet cupcake.

Like really, really badly.

Like you promise me a cupcake and I will give you $100 and my address to drive it over to me right now-- that badly.

Ok, not that badly.

But still, really, really badly.

(image via Crumbs Bake Shop)

Sex sex sex blog post sex

So today was an ultra-lazy day; I didn't even go outside! To detract from my slovenly feelings, I shall tell you an analogy I came up with today:

Television is like food-- in many, many ways. But the analogy of the day (or AOTD, if you will) is this:

Television programs are like food-- you watch/eat the best/yummiest when you have a wide variety of options, but when you're bored/starving and all you can find is junk, you take what you can get.

So how does this relate to my day today? Well, dear readers, all of my TV shows are over. Re-runs just aren't doing it for me right now. So, I noshed on some junk TV.

Enter The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

I had given up this show (much like I gave up Gossip Girl) early last season. Those one-hour dramedies are just too much work for their small entertainment value. And while TSLOTAT (I used this abbreviation while emailing my cousin, and for some reason it irked her. But she doesn't read my blog, and I find it convenient. So take that, cousin!) probably falls under the "So Bad it's Good" category, sometimes it's "So Bad it's-- Actually, No, it's Just Really, Really Bad."

But, frankly, I had seen some clips of it on The Soup recently, and I started to kinda miss those sex-obsessed nut jobs. I missed creepily-devoted Ben, faux-bad-boy Ricky, whiny-biatch Amy, why-does-Jack-even-like-her Madison, why-does-Madison-even-like-him Jack, wow-you-look-like-Ashley-Tisdale-but-you-still-are-boring-as-hell Grace, OMG-you-make-my-mom-look-sane-you-are-so-nosy parents, and frustratingly-emotionless Amy's Sister (who is so void of emotion that I don't even remember her name, despite having watched an episode a mere 3 hours ago). I missed the conversations that went thusly:

Ben: I want to have sex with you.

Amy: I had sex, and I got pregnant. No.

Ben: Ok, fine.

Amy: Does that mean you're going to go off and have sex with other girls?

Ben: Well if you won't have sex with me, what else am I supposed to do?

Amy: You could not have sex.

Ben: Sex sex sex sex sex sex pregnant sex birth control sex sex!

Amy: Sex sex friends sex sex sex school sex sex WHINE sex sex I'M A TEENAGE MOTHER GODDAMIT sex!

Amy's Dad: Sex?

Ben: Sex, Amy's Dad. Sex sex sex love sex sex sex condoms sex sex oral sex sex sex.

John, Amy's 1-year-old son: Sex!

So I head on over to Wikipedia's episode list to get a brief synopsis of what's up in that little town where no one learns anything at school and parents act like teenagers. Apparently, a lot. I watched some of the last episodes of the last season, and the first two episodes of this new season, and now I'm caught up.

I feel like I sold out. I'm sorry, 30 Rock. I've lowered my standards so dramatically since you left me.

This is sad.

So the other day I just had the most brilliant idea for a blog post. Ok, maybe not brilliant, but it's my retelling so I can fudge the facts. Anyway, the post in question centers around one perfect, awesome, gorgeous item of clothing.

Only problem?

I have searched all my normal shopping sites (J.Crew, Anthro, UO, etc.,etc.) and I can't find a fittingly gorgeous piece. Crazy, right? What is it with the selection nowadays, stores? Just because it's in between clothing seasons, y'all feel like you can slack off? Nuh-uh. Style waits for NO ONE.

But my incredibly witty and fun blog post will have to wait. Until I can find that one dress, shirt, or skirt that calls to me.

So you're stuck with this post for now. Boo.

Surprise!

So I'm watching the 30 Rock season 3 episode "Cutbacks," and what little background gag do I see?

Let's zoom in a little, shall we?

It's the Dwight bobble-head in Kenneth's apartment! How funny is that? Makes sense too, because Kenneth is a TV nut!

Found any fun background gags in your favorite show recently?

I want to go to there

It's called The Dry Bar. It's a hair salon that just offers blowouts. I'm one of those girls who almost never gets her hair done, but is 56% more confident and perky for those few days after a haircut when my hair looks so... perfect. So, naturally, this is my kind of place. I think I'd order the Mai Tai. Not only is it a brilliant concept for a store, but the place itself is gorgeous! Seriously, look at this beauty:

If only it wasn't only in LA. Sob.

An Emmy-winning Revelation

As I sat mere minutes ago, watching the much-anticipated and much-dreaded season finale of Modern Family, I came to an idea so simple, so obvious, and so unoriginal that I can't believe I haven't espoused it yet:

Modern Family should have one the "Best Comedy" Emmy over Glee.

And before you use your keyboard to fire verbal bullets at me, keep in mind that I'm a Gleek. A huge one. I've bought both of their CDs and watch religiously and enthusiastically every week. I love Glee.

But Modern Family is just something so unique, so special, that the viewer (or at least I) feels honored just to watch it. As I watched perfectionist Claire attempt to fix that step that Phil promised many times to fix but never did, I laughed and I empathized. I groaned in embarrassment and gleeful anticipation when Phil thought that Claire saw the kiss. And I nearly DIED laughing when Phil asked Kobe Bryant, "Do you like being a basketball player?" DIED. And when they all gathered together for that group photo, splattering each other with mud as a confused photographer looked on, I felt that this is a family more real and honest than on any other sitcom-- or reality show, for that matter.

Glee is an enchanting and bewildering cocktail of theatrics and drama, singing and dancing, zaniness and emotion. But Modern Family is a subtle and nuanced blend of comedy and poignancy, wit and heart, reality and intricacy. Glee is wonderful, but Modern Family's mix of spot-on actors, intricately interwoven plots, and a touch of sweetness makes the show perfection.

Agree? Disagree? Sound off below.

Dear Internet,

Seventeen year old boys are assholes. With very few exceptions. Even the ones that look nice and act nice are major assholes. They're so charming and cute and suck you in and then dangle you from a string and let you languish and then they eventually cut the string and you collapse on the floor.

And I have a feeling college guys aren't any better.

Angrily,

RN

PS- (Sorry for the short updates... been having some problems... see above)

Oh, by the way?

I want a baby otter. Actually, I always have wanted an otter as a pet, especially back when I wanted to be a marine biologist. They're like cats of the sea!

So cute, right?

(image via Cute Overload)

This. Looks. EPIC

Can't. Wait.

Also. Can't. Stop. Talking. Like. This.

How to wear... Non-Jeans

How to Wear... Non-Jeans

Since I attend a prep school that forbids us from wearing jeans of any sorts, you know I can--and must-- wear the heck out of khakis. Khakis, chinos, cargos-- as long as it's not jeans, it's all good. Many times I cursed these plain Jane creations, lamenting their monotony and drabness. But as I have expanded my wardrobe beyond these staples, I've realized that these non-jeans-- in moderation and with heaps of creativity-- can be, dare I say it, fashionable! Here are some outfits I hope you'll consider when staring confusedly at your old pair of khakis:

Look #1: Khakis

Surprisingly, Khakis are in this season-- cuffed and torn, they take on a casual-chic air. Playing even more with the casual look, why not add a cropped sweatshirt straight from the fashionable side of the '80's? And if it doesn't have enough embellishments, add some with some lavishly jeweled bracelets, necklaces, and/or sandals:

Light khakis- GAP, Darker khakis- Adriano Goldschmied, Cuff- Urban Outfitters, Sandals- Nordstrom, Embellished crop top- Forever 21, Cropped t-shirt- American Apparel, Necklace- Free People

Look #2: Cargo Pants

Cargo is a little more utilitarian, which is a perfect subtle trend to follow this spring. To soften the look of this macho leg wear, keep the rest of the outfit simple and light. Pieces like a draping vest and cute heels keep this outfit from getting too much like you're about to go fishing:

Cargo pants- J. Crew, Tan vest- Forever 21, White vest- American Eagle, Heels- H&M, Earrings- Carolee

Look #3: Chinos

Chinos are the most sophisticated of the three, and as such, seem too "old" for college students. So I figured that skinny chinos would be easier for a young adult to tackle. Chinos are a pretty blank slate, so you can jazz them up however you'd like; for this outfit I chose some gorgeous draped tank tops from one of my favorite haunts, Anthropologie, plus some sweet and simple accessories:

Chinos (on left)- ASOS, Chinos (on right)- Banana Republic, Tank top (on left)- Anthropologie, Tank top (on right)- Anthropologie, Flats- American Eagle, Earrings- Forever 21

Things to keep in mind:

- Khakis, chinos, and cargo pants are even tamer than jeans, so let the rest of your outfit go crazy! With such plain bottoms, you can pick your boldest, most eye-grabbing top and not feel overdone.

- With these pants, above all, it's about the fit. Don't worry about brand names-- just buy the pair that looks the best on you!

- If, like me, you are "vertically challenged," the rolled-up cuffs trend gives you an excuse to buy a pair of pants and wear them un-tailored-- just cuff them up! I know I always but a pair of pants and then they sit in the bag for months because I'm too lazy to take them to a tailor! If the double-cuffed look goes out of style, then get them hemmed.

- Want to try the loose, torn, and cuffed look, but don't want to spend the money on a trend? Borrow your brother's or boyfriend's khakis and roll them up!

I hope this post gave you some inspiration to wear those boring pants sitting in the back of your dresser!

(first picture found here)